I hate to fly. Oh, I don't mind the actual flying aspect of it. I mean, after going through a plane crash, I'm not scared of flying. It's the hoops you have to jump through before the plane pushes away from the gate.
I recently had to fly to Denver for the annual CEDIA Exposition. I swear, I almost drove the 12 hours - one way - just thinking about how much of a pain in the ass it has become to just get on a plane these days.
From the check in of the bags, to the security check point, to the loading of the plane, I see so many things that are so wrong with air travel today that it just makes me never want to fly at all.
Now that the Transportation Security Agency had decreed that no lotions, liquids or aerosols can be in carry-on luggage, there's more people checking baggage. On one hand, there's less carry-on luggage. And that will allow for my laptop briefcase to fit in the overhead compartments whereas before I had to find space where ever I could around the huge bags people would bring on board.
But the lines to check baggage are much longer and the wait to check in can be excruciating. Even with electronic ticketing in Denver, I still had to wait 20 minutes before my name was called to give the counter attendant my bag and go on my merry way to the security check in.
In Denver - and other large airports - they herd people through a maze of roped off aisles, zig-zagging as many as seven times before you reach a TSA security agent who must look at your photo ID and your ticket, just to make sure you are who you say you are. (Which is OK with me - that only makes sense.)
Then you have to literally disrobe to get through the metal detector. Take off your shoes, your belt, and take everything out of your pockets. Take off your watch and any large rings. Women have to take off necklaces and bracelets. Take your computer out of your bag and put it in a tub.
But whatever you do, don't put your shoes in a tub. I've done that a couple of times and I've had the security agents go ape shit. (I did it again on purpose in Denver just to see what they'd do. They just took them out of the tub and ran 'em through without putting up a stink.)
I will say, however, that since I flew to Europe this spring, the TSA agents have undergone some sort of a personality transformation. Before, the TSA agents were cold, callous and humorless. They'd make you feel like you were a hardened criminal going to prison. On this trip, both at the Quad City International and Denver International Airport, the TSA agents were talkative, smiling, helpful, even cracking little jokes. They even said, "Thank you." I was amazed.
However, getting on the plane is another story. I'm simply horrified at the way airlines waste time getting people on planes. It's usually first class and business class, then passengers board either front to back, or back to front. It's all about "turn around times", or how quickly they can turn around an aircraft for another flight. Planes that sit on the ground are money losers. The longer they sit on the ground, the more they lose money.
Southwest Airlines, which uses a "first-come, first-seated" rule (which I hate, by the way), has the quickest turn around times in the airline business today. Northwest Airlines has begun to experiment with a similar policy on some of their flights. I don't think I'll be flying Northwest any time soon.
However, I like the idea the Boeing Corporation has come up with. In a recently conducted study, computer simulations of passengers boarding various planes showed that a plane could be filled much more quickly if they would board the window seats first, the middle seats second and the aisle seats last. United Airlines and their "budget" carrier, Ted, use this concept to load planes.
Also recently, United announced that they were experimenting with a Dual Boarding Bridge (right), a walkway that allows airplanes to be loaded and unloaded out of both the front and the rear door of the cabin. The "DBB" is y-shaped and fits over the left wing of the plane allowing passengers in the rear of the plane to exit the plane the same time the first class passengers are getting off.
United is using the DBB at their hub in Denver. They've purchased a total of five from a Canadian company, Dewbridge Airport Systems, who plans to have the other four installed at DIA sometime next year.
United is making a big deal about this, but Southwest Airlines first used the concept of dual boarding at the Albany International Airport. It was used for a couple years before Southwest abandoned the concept because it didn't significantly decrease the turn around time for their already proven concept of first-come, first-seated.
(For a closer look at the study of seating passengers on planes, and the way different airlines seat passengers, click here.)
One other thing that gripes me about air travel - the way airlines blatantly lie to their passengers regarding delays. I was sitting on a plane at O'Hare for a half-hour waiting to fly back to the Quad Cities the other day. The pilot came on the intercom and said that they were waiting for paperwork to come through before they could take off. About 10 minutes later, 4 passengers got on the plane. Suddenly, the door closed and we were underway.
Why can't they just say, "Hey, folks, we've got four people that are scheduled for this flight who have just got off a plane at a gate that is a long way from here and they're on their way. As soon as they get here, we'll get going." I'd understand that. I have no problem with that. But when they lie about it, I've got a problem.
Years ago, the old Trans World Airlines used to pull a trick of canceling flights due to "equipment problems" and would move passengers to later flights. It turned out that the two flights would only be half full and in order to fill the second plane and not have to run two half full planes, they canceled the first one. That happened to me numerous times.
On September 11 when I was walking thru O'Hare to go to my gate for my flight to Denver, I noticed a number of flights were canceled on a number of airlines. I heard later from my colleagues who were flying in to Denver from all over that a number of flights were canceled nationwide, mainly due to the number of people who DIDN'T want to fly on September 11. Planes were half full and they were canceling early flights. Thankfully, they didn't cancel my 8:05 a.m. flight out of Chicago, probably because so many people were going to Denver that week.
But I'm wondering if those canceled flights were due to "equipment problems". Just tell me the truth and I can live with it. No use getting worked up over something that is completely out of my hands.
Flying - a necessary evil in my life...
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