Damn you, Marcia Schroeder...
Achilles had his heel, Superman had Kryptonite, I have Garrett Popcorn. Or I should say, Garrett CaramelCrisp.
Had it not been for Marcia Schroeder introducing me to Garrett CaramelCrisp, I would have never found my weakness in life.
Garrett Popcorn is - as it says in their logo - a Chicago institution. Since 1949, Garrett Popcorn has been making their outstanding popcorn, cheese popcorn and caramel corn for hundreds of thousands of people. To show how popular they are, they have five locations within 1.5 square miles in downtown Chicago. Their sixth location is in the heart of Manhattan near Madison Square Garden.
I was first exposed to Garrett Popcorn when we were in Chicago last year with Scott and Marcia Schroeder. While Scott and I were watching Iowa basketball at the ESPN Zone, Cindy and Marcia were out wandering around. They were walking past a Garrett Popcorn store and Marcia said they really needed to stop in. Cindy got a bag of the CaramelCrisp and brought it back with her.
After my first bite, my world stopped. All relationship to time ended. The taste of the CaramelCrisp popcorn was nothing like I had before. I ate it in a frenzy. I had absolutely no shame as I was gulping down handfuls as fast as I could get it out of the bag. It was amazing stuff.
Damn you, Marcia Schroeder.
Cindy and I were out walking around downtown Chicago last Saturday and I thought, "Hey! We need to stop at Garrett's and get some CaramelCrisp." We found the Garrett Popcorn on E. Madison St. and went in. Well, we tried to get in, but the place was so packed the line snaked around that you couldn't tell where it started and where it ended.
We finally got in and had a chance to take a look at all the different types of popcorn they sell while waiting in line. They also had a number of decorative tins to store the popcorn, such as the Chicago Bears tin on the right. Cindy wanted to know if I was going to get a tin and I said, "I don't think I want THAT much popcorn."
One of the more popular items they have at Garrett's is the Chicago Mix - half of their cheese flavored popcorn and half CaramelCrisp. In fact, Oprah Winfrey called Garrett's Chicago Mix (above) one of her favorite things in life on her show one time last year and she created an explosion in business for the family owned company during the Christmas season.
Scott Schroeder, the executive vice-president and chief financial officer for Garrett Popcorn (and who, ironically, has the same name as the husband of the evil Marcia Schroeder) said that Winfrey's free testimonial was a double edged sword. Business went up 100% in December of last year, but they had to adjust their production schedule from 8 hours a day to a 24 hour schedule.
We ended up getting some CaramelCrisp and Cindy wanted a small bag of CaramelCrisp with Macadamia nuts. We took it back to the room with us and throughout the later part of the afternoon I just sort of snacked on the CaramelCrisp. But I ate so much of it that I think that was what upset my stomach before we had dinner that night.
It was all Marcia Schroeder's fault. Damn you, Marcia Schroeder.
Had it not been for Marcia Schroeder, I would have peace in my life. I'd never have a constant yearning for Garrett CaramelCrisp. I would still have my dignity without the temptation of Garrett CaramelCrisp. I curse her name with each handful of that powerful and mind-numbing concoction.
I knew I had to do something to get back at her for exposing my greatest weakness in life. She had to be stopped. No longer could she use her powers to coerce people into enjoying Garrett Popcorn.
So I bought a large bag of the CaramelCrisp to take home to her...
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