In Case You've Been Wondering...

It's been awhile since last posted on Road Tips.  I've been a bit preoccupied with something big going on in my personal life.  My brother passed away last week and I'd been trying to spend as much time with him at the hospital as I could before he finally passed.  

My brother was 4 years older than me and I have to say that we weren't all that close growing up.  I suppose it had to do with the fact that I was the next one to come along after my brother had been doted on by my parents and my older sisters for nearly 4.5 years.  Plus we had to share a room together growing up.  Some nights (and days) were pure hell with an older brother resentful of having to share a room with someone as dopey and uncool as me.  

Always one to live on the edge, my brother had a lot of hard miles on him and lived live in the fast lane, figuratively and relatively speaking.  A lover of fast cars, he drag raced - both legally and illegally - in his teens and early 20's.  His penchant for speed was well-known amongst those living in the town where we grew up, especially the law enforcement community.  His lead-foot was still with him in his final months when we was able to drive a car.  

When the love of music became the bind that began to pull us together in my early teens, my brother turned me on to a number of artists and bands long before they became famous.  I first heard Jeff Beck, Jimi Hendrix, Robin Trower, ZZ Top and a number of other bands and artists who were just starting out which he played on the Panasonic stereo system we had in our bedroom.  I would have to say that my brother was one of my musical influences growing up.  

A work place accident about 22 years ago led to a high level of chronic pain which he endured the rest of his life.  But he had been in and out of the hospital over the years due to a car wreck he was in when he was 17.  His body was crooked in places it shouldn't have been and it was hurting in ways that I'm sure many of us could never fathom.  He got hooked on pain pills over the years, got cleaned up, got somewhat hooked again and was probably taking way too much pain medication up to the time that he was diagnosed with empyema - a medical term for the collection of infectious fluids in his lungs. 

He was in his local hospital for a couple reasons a couple weeks ago and woke up one morning short of breath and with low oxygen levels.  He was sent to a pulmonary care unit in Cedar Rapids and I saw him the day after he was admitted.  I was shocked as to how he looked.  (The above picture was taken just last month.  I was standing next to him, but we cropped me out as it was the last picture he had taken of him before he went into the hospital.)  

When we walked into his room, it looked like he was dead.  But my wife and I - with help from the hospital staff - were able to wake him up and talk with him.  Two days later, I saw him again and he looked better.  He was still a bit confused as to where he was (he was in the early stages of Alzheimers), but he was much better than he was when I saw him from before.

I saw him a couple more times including spending some time with him a week ago yesterday when we were watching TV in his room, laughing, joking and just being brothers again.  I told him that I'd see him the next day.  "Love ya, buddy," were the last words he spoke to me.  

The next day, I got to the hospital at 12:25 p.m.  My younger sister was already there, along with my brother's wife and her sister.  10 minutes after I got there, he was gone.  Just like that.  I was absolutely shocked at how he had deteriorated in less than 24 hours.  

Now, empyema was not on the scorecard for the reason family and friends thought how my brother would die.  For years, we figured it would be in a fiery car crash, or at the hands of a jealous husband, or from a drug deal gone bad, or a getting cut down in a hail of bullets by the police after he had barricaded himself in a public building.  You know, the normal ways to die these days.  But he found a couple women in his life over the years who kept him on a leash and probably helped keep him alive a lot longer than many of us thought he would make it.  

When we announced that my brother had passed, I remarked that while losing a parent is tough, losing a sibling may be harder.  Being the only brother that he had, I was the one who wrote his obituary and this pretty much encapsulates what my brother was all about:

"(My brother) was gregarious and outgoing, he was a raconteur with a penchant for telling colorful stories in which there may (or may not) have been some embellishments along the way.  He could be charming with people, he could infuriate his friends and family with his actions, he could be loving, compassionate and caring, and he could frustrate many with his choices in life.  But in the end, everyone would shrug their shoulders, throw up their hands, smile and say, “Well, that’s (my brother).”  

As I told his lifeless body in the hospital room before I left him one last time the day he passed, "See ya on the other side, man!"  

That is, I'm not certain he'll be where I'm going...  😆😆😆😆

Comments

[s]

My deepest sympathies for you and your family.

[Slakingfool]

My condolences for your loss. The man was surely quite the character.

[Jeni]

I am so sorry for your loss.