Road Tips

Tailgaters

As I continue to recover from my hip surgery, I'm recycling some of my older posts over the past couple three years.  This story was originally posted on November 25, 2005 and illustrates one of my all-time pet peeves while traveling - tailgaters.  Well, that and idiots who don't know how to use their cruise control when traveling on the interstate.  They pass you, they slow down.  You pass them, they speed up.  A cruise control is a very helpful tool - not only does it help you with gas economy, it takes the guess work of how much pressure you have to apply at any given point to the accelerator when you're driving on the open stretches of interstate highways.

This past weekend, Cindy and I drove to Iowa City for a Mother's Day gathering with the kids at a restaurant in Iowa City.  This was the first trip I'd taken that was more than a 10 mile radius from our home in over two months.  Actually, *I* was having problems figuring out how to activate the cruise control on my car - it had been that long since I'd last used it.  

But it had become apparent that there were still people who didn't know how to engage their cruise control.  (Yeah, I'm talking about you, buddy - the idiot from Nebraska in the red Malibu who wouldn't get over and would go from 65 mph to 73 mph and back down to 63 mph while a long line of cars were behind him trying to get around some semi's.) 

And there are still a disproportionately high number of women tailgaters, including the little bitch in the brown Honda Accord who rode my ass at 75 mph for no apparent reason other than we happened to be going the same speed for four or five miles before I finally backed off to 72 so she would pass me.  Then as she started to go around, she slowed to the SAME SPEED as ME!!!  Jesus!!!

This is my original post on tailgaters and those who don't know how to use a cruise control.  And, unfortunately, over three years later, it's just as bad.

I'm not talking about the type of tailgaters who go to Iowa football games and party before and after the game.  I'm talking about an aggravating sector of the population that gets on your bumper - at any speed - and just hangs there.

And my scientific experiments have found that in about 95% of the cases of tailgaters, they are - horrors!  WOMEN!!

Women are the worst tailgaters on the road.  I have no idea what is in the head of some of these ladies who come up behind me on the interstate - I'm going 72 miles per hour, they're going faster - then they get up behind me about a car length and instead of passing me, they just sit there on my bumper for the next five miles!

Cindy was a horrible tailgater when I first started dating her.  I'd be riding with her and she'd be on the ass end of the car in front of her and I'd say, "Cindy, back off!  You're gonna smack this guy if he has to hit the brakes!"

So, a few days later, Cindy calls me up at home during her lunch hour.  She's in tears.  She said, "Oh, God!  I just ran into the back of a guy on my way home for lunch!  And you told me it was going to happen!" 

She doesn't tailgate any longer...

And women - here's another tip when you drive on the interstate - it's called a Cruise Control.  Learn how it works and use it.  I can not tell you all how many times I get passed by a woman, she pulls in the lane in front of me and immediately slows down.  I have to hit my brakes or go back out into the other lane and pass them.  The next thing I know, they're coming back up behind me, they pass and then settle into the lane ahead of me - AND SLOW DOWN!!!  And, once again, I have to pass them and it starts over again.

OR - I'm in the right hand lane going 72 mph.  A car comes up behind me going faster.  They pull into the left hand lane to pass - and then they just sit there going the same speed as me!  And, invariably, I get behind a semi or a slower car and I have to slow down and wait for the car on my left to get around me.  Just keep going the same frigging speed!   If you're going to be coming up behind me at 77 miles an hour, then pass me at 77 miles an hour. 

And it's nearly ALWAYS a woman, and hardly ever a man, who does this.  Cruise controls are the greatest invention for cars.  Nearly every car that comes out of auto makers these days has cruise control.  I think women should be asked every time they apply for a driver's license if they know how a use a cruise control.

Here's an addendum to the original post - The one thing that worries me more and more is that a lot of these drivers must be fans of NASCAR.  They see the drivers on each other's bumpers at speeds of up to 190 miles an hour and they think that it must be fine to do the same thing at 75.  While we're talking about professionals who are driving cars that could withstand a high speed crash allowing the driver to walk away with just a bad headache, unfortunately the consumer car industry hasn't been able to come up with an economical design that would allow the common driver to do just that. 

While I know this blog isn't being read by everyone who drives regularly in the United States, I still have two pieces of advise - back off and learn how to use the cruise control!

I'm not talking about the type of tailgaters who go to Iowa football games and party before and after the game.  I'm talking about an aggravating sector of the population that gets on your bumper - at any speed - and just hangs there.

And my scientific experiments have found that in about 95% of the cases of tailgaters, they are - horrors!  WOMEN!!

Women are the worst tailgaters on the road.  I have no idea what is in the head of some of these ladies who come up behind me on the interstate - I'm going 72 miles per hour, they're going faster - then they get up behind me about a car length and instead of passing me, they just sit there on my bumper for the next five miles!

Cindy was a horrible tailgater when I first started dating her.  I'd be riding with her and she'd be on the ass end of the car in front of her and I'd say, "Cindy, back off!  You're gonna smack this guy if he has to hit the brakes!"

So, a few days later, Cindy calls me up at home during her lunch hour.  She's in tears.  She said, "Oh, God!  I just ran into the back of a guy on my way home for lunch!  And you told me it was going to happen!" 

She doesn't tailgate any longer...

And women - here's another tip when you drive on the interstate - it's called a Cruise Control.  Learn how it works and use it.  I can not tell you all how many times I get passed by a woman, she pulls in the lane in front of me and immediately slows down.  I have to hit my brakes or go back out into the other lane and pass them.  The next thing I know, they're coming back up behind me, they pass and then settle into the lane ahead of me - AND SLOW DOWN!!!  And, once again, I have to pass them and it starts over again.

OR - I'm in the right hand lane going 72 mph.  A car comes up behind me going faster.  They pull into the left hand lane to pass - and then they just sit there going the same speed as me!  And, invariably, I get behind a semi or a slower car and I have to slow down and wait for the car on my left to get around me.  Just keep going the same frigging speed!   If you're going to be coming up behind me at 77 miles an hour, then pass me at 77 miles an hour. 

And it's nearly ALWAYS a woman, and hardly ever a man, who does this.  Cruise controls are the greatest invention for cars.  Nearly every car that comes out of auto makers these days has cruise control.  I think women should be asked every time they apply for a driver's license if they know how a use a cruise control.

Here's an addendum to the original post - The one thing that worries me more and more is that a lot of these drivers must be fans of NASCAR.  They see the drivers on each other's bumpers at speeds of up to 190 miles an hour and they think that it must be fine to do the same thing at 75.  While we're talking about professionals who are driving cars that could withstand a high speed crash allowing the driver to walk away with just a bad headache, unfortunately the consumer car industry hasn't been able to come up with an economical design that would allow the common driver to do just that. 

While I know this blog isn't being read by everyone who drives regularly in the United States, I still have two pieces of advise - back off and learn how to use the cruise control!

One Final Word on Hewlett-Packard

One final entry regarding the ongoing saga of my battle with Hewlett-Packard.  You can read the earlier very maddening entries here and here. 

I did write a letter a couple of weeks ago to the head of consumer affairs for H-P concerning my problems with Hewlett-Packard technical support.  It was nearly three pages in length and I documented the good, the bad and the downright ugly service I received up to the point when I just decided to pull the plug on my laptop.  Honestly, I really didn't expect to get an answer. 

Last week, while I was on the road, I received a telephone call from someone at H-P who said they received my letter, but they couldn't find my laptop's serial number in the system.  The lady who called said, "We know it must be in the system as you went into great detail in your letter about the problems you had."  She gave me a number to call and an option number to give when I called in. 

I was doing some stuff in my office on Monday of this week and I came across the note I had written after I'd gotten home last Friday evening.  I thought, "OK, let's call Hewlett-Packard and see what's going on."

I was put on hold after dialing the number and I was connected to a lady who sounded like she was a kindly old school marm.  She had trouble finding my case in the computer, but when she finally did find it, she was asking questions as to the problems I had previously. 

I went through the sequence of the good and the bad.  Each time I pointed out something bad, she gave me a cursory, "Oh, that's too bad", or an "Oh, my goodness."  I knew there was going to be nothing she was going to do.  And I closed by saying, "And that's why I'm looking at my old H-P laptop sitting on a shelf here in my office, and that's why I typed that letter on my new Toshiba laptop."

Finally, she said, "It says here in your letter that you own two Hewlett-Packard printers.  What models are they?"

I gave her the model numbers and she said to me, "What I'd like to do is to send you two ink cartridges for your printers."

I said, "Excuse me?"

She said, "Yes, I'd like to send you two ink cartridges for your printers for all your trouble."

I couldn't believe what I heard.  Did I think they'd own up and say, "Yes, sir, we screwed up, big time.  We'll fix your laptop for free"?  Hell, if she'd said, "We'll send you two cases of ink cartridges," it would have got my attention.  Two ink cartridges?  I was completely incredulous. 

I said, "You really want to send me two ink cartridges to show how sorry Hewlett-Packard is for the trouble they put me through?"

She said, "Well, yes.  It would be a token of our appreciation for the trouble you've been through."  

I said, "Actually, that's a very small token for what I've been through.  The most logical token of appreciation you could show is if you fixed my computer for free." 

She sort of laughed and said, "Oh, goodness.  We certainly couldn't do that." 

I said, "So, you want to send me two ink cartridges that cost $9.00 bucks each at Best Buy (I'd just bought one over the weekend) to show how truly sorry Hewlett-Packard is for the time and hassle I put up with trying to get my 18-month-old computer fixed?"

The lady said, "Yes, that's right."

I said, "Look, if that's all you're going to do, don't bother sending me the cartridges.  I'm sorry, but that's an insult for the time and trouble I had to put up with.  No, I don't need your cartridges."

And that was it.  I'm seriously thinking of writing ANOTHER letter to Hewlett-Packard to let them know how insulted I was for the measly offer.  Not that I was expecting stock options or a trip to the California wine country for two, but I would have thought they would have, at least, done something more to try and get me back in the fold.  H-P ink cartridges probably cost them a buck to manufacture.  That's just absolutely amazing on Hewlett-Packard's part to basically piss me off even more than they have.  

Good God...  

Election Day

It's Election Day in this great country of ours.

All I can say is, "THANK GOD!!!"

Living in Iowa, we've been tortured more than the average voter due to Iowa's "First in the Nation" status with the confusing and somewhat comical caucus system we have for Presidential primary elections.  We've gotten hit with a volley of visits from Presidential hopefuls, along with advertisements, fliers, unsolicited phone calls, door-to door canvasing, and continual political rallies and town hall meetings across the state - all of which started OVER TWO YEARS AGO! 

I swear, John Edwards started his Presidential campaign in Iowa the day AFTER the 2004 election.  Christopher Dodd actually rented a house and moved his family to Iowa during the months leading up to the Iowa Caucus.  Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama spent a lot of time in Iowa before Obama's big win last January in the Iowa Caucus.  While it proved that Iowa can be a great launching point for a Presidential bid, John McCain hardly campaigned here before the Iowa Caucus, looking to shore up support in what he deemed as more important states. 

It worked out well for him in his bid to get the Republican nomination.

Now, I'm about the biggest apolitical person there is.  I don't like to talk politics, I don't show my politics on my sleeve, I don't even like to put political signs in my yard.   I'm a registered independent voter and if there is such a thing as a moderate - which hard-core conservatives and bleeding-heart liberals contend there is no such thing - I'm the quintessential moderate.

The Presidential elections are bad enough.  Add in Senate and Congressional elections, as well as state and local government elections to this mix.   I really don't know if I fully understand the issues and I really don't think it matters.  Everyone talks about change, but I see little change that happens after each election.   Government on all levels continues to work on the status quo principle. 

While I want lower taxes and less government getting in my way, I think there's an on-going obligation for certain services that government must provide to the people.   

I'm also for the right to bear arms, but I don't necessarily think people need assault rifles. 

I'm for a woman's right to choose and the separation of church and state.  I believe in religious freedom, even though I'm far from being a religious person. 

I'm for a strong national defense, but I think diplomacy is the first and foremost way to resolve disputes. 

I fully support our troops in Iraq, but I don't agree with the war in Iraq.

I'm all for law and order, but I think the government is going out of their way to make most people feel like common criminals.  Sort of the old "Guilty until proven innocent" adage. 

How's that for a quintessential moderate? 

I am so glad this day is here.  The only problem now is that the talking heads on television and radio will now have to dissect the results, which polls were right, which ones were wrong.  There's going to be the incessant second guessing by the media of the losing candidate's campaign.  I predict there will also be some who will be handicapping the 2012 race for the White House in the days after the election. 

While I think it's sort of neat that Iowa gets the attention every four years, it's just maddening how the press continues to portray the people that live in the state.  According to many in the press, everyone is a farmer here.  There's nothing to do here after 5 p.m.  Iowa isn't a representative state in terms of demographics compared to the rest of the United States.  It's stupid, condescending and somewhat bigoted on the part of the media who come to Iowa every four years to portray us the way they do.   

But the Iowa Caucus helps the local economy and people in Iowa are just wishy-washy enough that candidates continue to spend a lot of time and money in this state leading up to the general election.  Much of the state - especially the rural areas - are strong conservative strongholds.  The larger cities tend to lean to the left a bit.  We get bombarded from all angles when it comes to the caucus and the election.  It's no wonder people here in Iowa regularly change their mind on candidates.  You really don't know who to believe.  

And isn't that true with most politicians? 

Update on the Hewlett-Packard Story

I've heard from three or four people in the past few days wondering what ever happened with the Hewlett-Packard lap top computer I was having problems with (read the whole story here).  I did receive the new system recovery discs from HP and I immediately put them into my computer to put Windows on my new $375 dollar overpriced hard drive.  The computer whizzed up, started to go through all the installation paces, then got to a point and shut down again.  I was ready to throw it out the window. 

That was all a couple Saturday's ago and I knew that I was going to have to call Hewlett-Packard again to see what they could do to resolve this situation.  It couldn't be that two system recovery discs were corrupted.  I decided to wait until the following Monday to give them a call.

After the usual hoop jumping and other misdirections they try to put you through on Hewlett-Packard phone technical support, much to my relief I was able to talk to a guy - Pierre (probably not his real name) - who was going to help me with the latest problem.  I told him right off the bat, "Look, I'm so exasperated by this whole experience that I'm going to apologize to you in advance if I lose my shit during the course of this conversation."

He was sympathetic to my plight and looked through the service tickets that had gathered into a mini-novel in HP's technical support computers.  I told him that the second recovery disc had done the same thing as the first - shut down my computer during the installation process.  He immediately said, "Well, from just looking at the notes here, it's apparent that it's not a disc drive problem as much as a mother board problem."

I told him that I bought a hard drive from HP for $375 bucks and found later that I could have gotten one much cheaper from another source.  He said, "Well, actually you paid $379.20 for the disc drive.  And, yes, you could have very easily found a cheaper one elsewhere."

Pierre said that he'd be happy to take the disc drive back for credit on my card.  He then said, "However, it's sort of ironic that a new mother board for your computer runs $399." 

By this time, I'd had it with HP.  I said, "You know what?  $400 bucks is about half of what I can buy a new lap top for these days.  I think I'm just going to cut my losses and get a new one."

Pierre said, "Would you like to speak to someone in our sales department about a new notebook computer?"

I said, "Pierre, look.  You've been overly helpful and sympathetic to my problem.  But when the lady insisted that I had to BUY a system recovery disc for $15 bucks to replace what she said was a corrupted system recovery disc that came with the new computer when I bought it 18 months ago, and after I just spent $375 bucks on a new hard drive that I could have gotten cheaper, I thought it was time to end my association with Hewlett-Packard." 

Pierre said he fully understood and was sorry to hear my plight.  He got me an RA for the disc drive.  I sent it out and should be getting a refund sometime soon.  

In the meantime, I went to the local Best Buy to look at new lap tops later that morning.  The head of the computer department was helping me and I told him, "No HP's!"

He said, "What?  Really?  That's too bad because the HP's are all really hot right now."

Before I bought my HP notebook 18 months ago, I talked to a few computer savvy people who gave me their opinions on what to buy.  A couple of them strongly suggested the Toshiba brand of lap tops.   I'd gone through a Sony, a Dell and an HP in the last six plus years.  It was time to look at a Toshiba. 

To cut a long story to the chase, I found a Toshiba with a 320 gig hard drive, 4 gig of RAM, and the Intel 2.1 processor for $849 bucks.  My old HP I bought 18 months ago was $1249, with an 80 gig hard drive and 2 gig of RAM.  It did have Windows Office 2002 on it, while Windows Office 2007 did not come with this computer.  That will be another $250 bucks when the free 60 day trial ends in about six and a half weeks.  

All in all, I like it a lot.  It's much more quick than the HP and I didn't realize how many problems the HP was having compared to how slick the Toshiba opens up programs right away, compared to having to double click the icons on the HP a couple three times for a program to open up.  

I still haven't written that letter to Hewlett-Packard just yet, but I'm in the office all week long and I'm sure I'll find the time in the coming days to do just that.  And I'll be sure to let them know I'm writing it on my new Toshiba notebook. 

Oh, God! How I HATE Hewlett-Packard!

Right now, I'm in such a major pissed-off mood regarding what I've just gone through with Hewlett-Packard on getting my notebook computer back up and running, I think I'm on the way to a stroke.  I have never experienced a situation that I've just gone through in my life.  I really wonder what has happened to companies who are looking out for their customers. 

First of all, let me say that we've spent over $3000 dollars on Hewlett-Packard products in the last 18 months.  I got a new notebook computer last year for my work.  Then I bought a new HP Photosmart printer to go with Cindy's new iMac computer from Apple in January.  Then my six year old HP printer took a major dump and I went out and got a new Photosmart printer for my office.  Then last March, I bought a new HP 8200 desktop computer to use for media functions - music and recording television shows, primarily.  Life was good with HP in our house.

Until recently.

As I said in this post earlier this week, I'd been having trouble with my notebook computer for a couple months.  For some reason, I'd lose all hardware functions, including wireless Internet and printing capabilities.  It finally got to a point that I had to pay $49.95 for phone help (good for a two week period).  A couple of the problems I had disappeared, but then they cropped back up again within days. 

Long story short, it turned out that I needed a new hard drive.  I ordered one from HP and they charged me about $375 bucks for the drive unit.  Well, a couple of the more computer savvy and less naive readers of Road Tips told me that I could have easily found a much cheaper notebook hard drive either on line or at Best Buy.  By that time, I was stuck with the one that I ordered.

I inserted the new disc drive and began to run the Windows XP Operating System DVD to format the new disc drive.  However, each time I tried to run the disc, the computer would mysteriously shut down during set up.  Hmm, that's not good.  OK, the last tech from HP told me that if I had any problems during set up to give HP Technical Support a call back and they'd guide me through the process.

This is when it got bad.  Actually, up until this point, I had some very helpful and competent tech support people that got me through some of the mine fields I was trying to traverse.  However, earlier this week, that's when I encountered a slew of foreign support people who were either A) Rude; B) Difficult to understand; or C) Completely incapable of understanding the problem with my computer.  

I'm going to back up a week or so.  I was told by one of the HP techs that I needed to try a system recovery.  Well, I didn't have a system recovery disc, or at least I didn't think I had one.  I ended up calling HP tech support to BUY a system recovery disc, fully knowing that I was out of warranty and needed said disc.  I got a lady on the line who didn't sound like she was from Sheboygan.  More like from New Delhi.  I told her that I needed to buy a system recovery disc for my notebook.  This is the ensuing conversation, nearly verbatim:

HP Support Lady: Sir, the computer is not in warranty.  

Me: Yes, I know that.  That's why I want to buy a system recovery disc.  

HP Support Lady: You don't understand.  Your computer isn't in warranty.  

Me: Yes, I said I understand that.  That's why I'm willing to purchase a system recovery disc.

HP Support Lady: No, sir.  I'm sorry, but your computer is out of warranty.

Me: Yes, it's out of warranty.  That's why I need to buy a system recovery disc.  I want to buy a system recovery disc for my computer.

After a long pause, HP Support Lady: Sir, I'm sorry but I cannot send you a system recovery disc because your computer is out of warranty. 

Me:  I KNOW THAT!!!  THAT'S WHY I WANT TO BUY A SYSTEM RECOVERY DISC FROM YOU PEOPLE!

HP Support Lady: *Click*

She hung up on me!!!  The bitch!  She couldn't understand that I actually wanted to BUY something rather than have them ship it to me free of charge.  I'm still shaking my head over that one. 

My faith in HP Support was restored when I got a nice lady by the name of Teresa who was working the support line from Missouri.  She was really the best one out of a number of technicians that I worked with who actually had a personality and took the time to sort out the problems.  After consulting with some of her senior technicians on the matter, she had me do a Phoenix Bios check on the hard drive.  Immediately, the results came up "Failed".  She said, "Yeah, you need a new hard drive." 

Well, hindsight is always 20-20, but I didn't realize that I didn't need an HP notebook hard drive for the computer.  As the readers told me, I could have gone to Best Buy or gotten one off the Internet.  THEN, I would have had to call up HP support again and try to have them sell me a system recovery disc.

But it turned out that Teresa told me the System Operating DVD and the Application and Driver recovery discs that came with the computer would be all that I would need to get the computer up and running.  She said, "When you get the hard drive set in the computer, just start the disc when you turn on the machine.  You'll be able to get it recovered from there.  And if you have any problems, just call us and we'll get you taken care of."

The hard drive showed up earlier this week.  I replaced the old one and inserted the system disc.  It went through some loading procedures and after about four or five minutes, my computer just shut down.  Boom.  It turned itself off.  I turned on the computer again, hit a key on the keyboard to start the set up.  It ran for a few minutes, then - bam!  Shut itself down again.  Hmm...  I'm starting to get a little aggravated at this point.

Started it again - shut down about six minutes into set up.  Started it again, shut down in 30 seconds.  Started it again, shut down in two minutes.  I'm thinking, "OK, well, this isn't right.  Time to call HP Support."

I called support, hoping beyond hope that Teresa would be on the other end.  No such luck this time.   This support person was a lady of Asian persuasion with the name of Lisa.  She was hard to understand and she didn't quite understand the problems I was going through.  Even with all the prior documentation in front of her from previous call sessions with HP Support, she was having trouble figuring out what the problem was. 

Finally, she instructed me to do a Phoenix Bios check on the hard drive.  You have two options for the Bios check - a quick check, consisting of about two minutes; or a long check consisting of about an hour.  She told me to do the long check.  I said, "Do you want me to hang on the phone with you during this time?"

She said, "You don't have to.  We can call you back in a couple hours to see what the results are."  She said someone would call back after 1:30 p.m.

Guess what, I went to lunch and came back at 1:20.  At 1:15, someone from HP Support called and left a message that said I needed to reschedule the session since I wasn't available.  Well, screw that.  I'm calling technical support and going for broke.  I've had enough by this point. 

Once again, I got a lady who definitely didn't have a full grasp of the English language.  For 10 minutes I told her everything I'd done over the past couple three weeks, had her look up the case number to verify everything that had been done.  I told her that I just got the hard drive and was having trouble getting it to be set up properly.  She said, "Sir, your computer is out of warranty.  We'll have to charge you for a session."

I said, "Wait a minute.  I just spent $375 on a hard drive with you people, a hard drive that I've since found out that I could have gotten for $85 bucks at Best Buy.  The service tech who sold me the hard drive last week told me that if I had any problems to contact technical support and I'd be assisted at no charge."  (Teresa didn't say it would be no charge, but she did say I'd  get the help I needed.  I figured for $375 bucks, technical support had to come with the price.)

This development startled the service tech and she began to help me.  She had me do a set up again.  The computer kept shutting down.  She had me do a Phoenix Bios check.  I explained to her - again - that I did one earlier and the hard drive was fine.  She put me on hold for a couple minutes and then came back on.

HP Support Lady: Your recovery disc is corrupted.  You need to buy a new system recovery disc.

Me: Wait a minute.  Buy?  I just spent $375 bucks with you people.  And now you're trying to fleece me for a new system recovery disc?  This is the same company where I offered to buy one from you people last week but the lady wouldn't sell me one because my computer was out of warranty!  Now I've turned around, spent $375 on a hard drive that I could have gotten for a quarter of what I spent on this thing and you want to charge me for a system recovery disc?  I've never had to use the system recovery disc until now!  

HP Support Lady:  When did you receive your system recovery disc?

Me: The one I'm using?

HP Support Lady: Yes.

Me: I received it when I purchased the computer.

HP Support Lady:  We sent it to you?

Me: No!  It was with the computer when I bought it!  If it's corrupted now, it had to be corrupted when I bought the computer a year and a half ago. 

HP Support Lady:  Yes, that's why you have to buy a new system recovery disc because your computer is out of warranty.

Me: So, you're telling me that because a disc that I've never used before is corrupted - and it appears it would have been corrupted when I bought the computer - that I have to buy one?

HP Support Lady: Yes.

Me: You've got to be F******* KIDDING ME!

Now, I knew that a system recovery disc was only about 15 bucks.  But it was the principle of taking care of the customer that was blatantly getting shit on at this moment.  It was obvious there is no "gray area" for HP Technical Support personnel.  At that point, I asked to talk to a supervisor.

HP Support Lady: There's no supervisor on the floor, sir. 

Me: Well, connect me to a supervisor in some capacity in the Technical Support system.  This is just ridiculous.

HP Support Lady: My supervisor is not on the floor.

Me: Yes, I know that.  But there must be someone higher up in the system other than your missing supervisor that I can talk to.

HP Support Lady: Please hold for a minute, sir.

I waited a couple minutes and she came back on.

HP Support Lady: Sir, you'll have to purchase the disc.

Me: Is that what the supervisor said?

HP Support Lady: No, that is the way it has to be. 

Me: So, you didn't even talk to a supervisor?

HP Support Lady: Yes, you have to buy a system recovery disc. 

At this point, I was about ready to have a stroke, my blood was boiling so bad.  Finally, I knew this was a losing battle and I said, "OK, all right.  I'll buy a system recovery disc, but it will be the last thing I ever buy from Hewlett Packard.  What do I have to do?"

Suddenly, she turned to her overly helpful side. 

HP Support Lady (cheery voice): I'll be more than happy to connect you with a person who will assist you in purchasing your system recovery disc, sir.

She put me on with a lady who wanted to send the disc to me overnight for $28 dollars, second day for $22 or regular mail for $15.  I'd waited this long for my computer to get back to normal that I just took the $15 dollar option.  She said it was guaranteed to show up within 14 working days.  FOURTEEN WORKING DAYS!?  Via U.S. Mail?  Well, I hope to hell it shows up within 14 working days or the U.S. Postal Service has some bigger issues than I thought!

As you can tell, I'm just exasperated from the whole experience.  This was one of the most ridiculous displays of what not to do for customer service that I've ever encountered.  And being in the sales and service sector of my industry, every thing Hewlett-Packard did was completely wrong.  I'm usually not a person who will contact a corporation to vent, but this time I probably will.  I know, I know.  It's only 15 bucks, but as I said, it's the principle of the thing.  Fundamentals of good customer service were smashed and now Hewlett-Packard is going to lose a customer who, up until now, was a very happy user of their products.

The SunCom/T-Mobile Merger and Me

Earlier this year, T-Mobile USA, the European-based fourth-largest cellular provider in the United States, announced the takeover of SunCom, a regional cellular provider primarily serving the Carolinas, Tennessee and Georgia.  The cut-off date for the service switch of SunCom customers over to T-Mobile was to be this past Monday, September 8.  SunCom customers were given a toll-free number in which to call to talk to a service representative about billing issues that needed to be resolved before the change over deadline.  

Strangely enough, phone calls from SunCom customers began to come into my office while I was on vacation a couple of weeks ago.  Many people just hung up when they got my voice mail, while a few left messages.  I have to say that in my voice mail greeting, nowhere does it say "SunCom" or "T-Mobile".  It's obvious from my greeting that I'm a one-person office with nothing to do with cellular telephones.  But that didn't stop some from leaving messages with their phone numbers asking me to call them back so we could discuss their bill.  And I have to say, many of those who left messages didn't sound very bright to begin with. 

The week after I got back from vacation, I was in the office all week long.  90 percent of the incoming calls that week on my office line were SunCom customers.  After the first 25 phone calls came in, I finally contacted someone at SunCom and told them that I had a lot of their customers calling up wanting to discuss their bill.  I said, "Look, it appears there must be a misprint somewhere for your customers as I keep getting phone calls from them wanting to talk to me about their bill."

The first SunCom person put me in touch with a supervisor and I told my story again.  The supervisor said to hang on, they wanted to check it out.  She came back on about five minutes later with a certainly plausible explanation.   It turns out that SunCom customers with past-due balances were given a toll-free number to call to talk to a representative to either make arrangements to pay or their service would be shut off on September 8.  T-Mobile was not going to take any SunCom customers with past-due balances. 

It so happened that the SunCom customer service number was exactly one number off from my toll-free number my dealers use to contact me in my office.  I told the supervisor, "I've been getting a lot of calls from your customers, some have left messages asking for me to call them back.  I just don't want anyone to think that I'm an agent for SunCom."

She said, "Well, if they're dialing the wrong number, and it's clear that they are, they have no one to blame but themselves."  She apologized for the inconvenience stating that the takeover date would be September 8.  "I will guarantee you the phone calls will stop after that date, because people who are past due with SunCom won't be able to use their phones."  

As the week went on, more phone calls came in.  It got to the point that I could look at the caller ID, see that it was a cellular caller from where ever, and not even answer the phone.   

I was in Denver last week for the annual CEDIA Expo.  While I was gone, the incoming calls from SunCom customers exploded exponentially.  I'm guessing from the messages left on my voice mail, these were people who needed to get their bill in order or face not having a phone on September 8. 

And some of the messages weren't too pretty.   I had indicated on my outgoing voice mail message that I would be out of the office until September 8, but that I would be checking my messages periodically.  One lady, who obviously came from a very low socio-economic background, left a filthy, trash-mouthed message on my voice mail because she was pissed off that I was out of the office until September 8 and she needed to talk to me about her bill before then or her phone would be shut off. 

Another lady left a tearful, pleading message for me to call her before September 8 because she couldn't afford to pay her bill, but wanted to work something out.  Many of the messages people left sounded more confused than anything.  I'm hoping those people realized they had called the wrong number.

Unfortunately for Cindy, the number listed by SunCom must have stated that it was manned 24 hours a day.  She said one night, late in the night, my office phone must have rang six or seven times.  Looking back at the caller ID, it was from the same person - obviously a SunCom customer who couldn't figure out they were calling the wrong number.  She told me the next morning, "I had to take the phone off the hook just so I could get some sleep."  (My office is just across the hall from our bedroom.)  She said she put the phone back on the hook before she went to work that morning. 

I checked my voice messages on Friday morning from Denver and it said that I had 42 messages.  I listened through them all, 39 of which were from SunCom customers inquiring about their billing.  It was just maddening.  When I got back on Monday, the ringer on my office phone was off - courtesy of Cindy - and my voice mailbox was full.  I had over 80 messages.  I just couldn't delete them all as I didn't want to miss a potential call that was really for me.  Turned out they were all from SunCom customers. 

Sure enough, as promised, the calls stopped on September 8.  But I really had to question the mental capacity of some of these people.  Sure, dialing a "5" instead of a "4" is an honest mistake most of the time, but some people called back again and again thinking they were dialing the right number.  It was aggravating after a bit and I'm sort of glad I wasn't in my office for over 10 days having to pick up the phone and tell someone that I wasn't with SunCom or T-Mobile.  

But as I also said, some of the people who left messages sounded like they had rocks for brains.  Sure, the majority of the callers said, "Oops!  Wrong number.", or just hung up when they got the outgoing voice message.  But the ones who went on and on about this and that regarding their bills, or who left nasty messages, or who were pleading with me to call them back so their service wouldn't be interrupted sounded so unbelievably stupid.  It was sort of funny at first, but it got to be tragic after awhile.

I know there's a common stereotype that some people in the South aren't too bright.  But did they all have to be SunCom customers?    

The Aggrevation of Air Travel

I returned from a quick business trip to France on Sunday night and I'm becoming increasingly disillusioned and disgusted with air travel.  Oh, I had great flights over and back - everything was on time with the exception of a 45 minute ground hold in Amsterdam on my way to Lyon because of thunderstorms that had popped up in Europe that afternoon.  What aggrevates me more and more about air travel is the amount of screaming little kids on the flights these days.  And it's not just babies, but kids up to three years of age who are screaming bloody murder for whatever reason.

Now, I've never been a big fan of kids, especially babies.  And it's a well-worn joke by many comedians about screaming kids on flights.  But on my flights to and from France, I was a perfect six for six with flights that had at least one screaming kid on board.  And in most cases, they were in close proximity to my seat.  

I don't usually sleep on planes, especially going over to Europe.  This time, I took a book, a portable DVD player, Cindy's iPod and my earplugs to help keep the interior noise down.  Things were going well from Detroit to Amsterdam.  I was dozing off and getting a little bit of sleep. That is until about half way through the flight when some young boy two rows in front of me just decided to start screaming and crying.  And the parents just didn't want to seem to do anything about it.  Finally, the father picked him up and began to walk up and down the aisle with the kid - thereby disturbing an even more larger segment of the plane.  

On the flight from Amsterdam to Lyon, a young girl across the aisle from me started screaming from the air pressure buildup on our descent.  I know it had to be excruciating for the kid, but she was screaming bloody murder.  It was all I could do to hear Led Zeppelin on the iPod cranked all the way up.  

Coming back home on Sunday, I was very tired.  I didn't sleep all that well the whole time I was in France (I never seem to do), and we had returned to our hotel from the Diana Krall concert at 1:30 a.m.  I had a 4:00 a.m. wake up and a 4:45 a.m. shuttle to the airport so I knew I wasn't going to get much sleep going in to all this.  I dozed a bit on the flight to Amsterdam, until, you guessed it, a kid began to screaming when we began to descend. 

But when I got on the plane in Amsterdam to go to Minneapolis, I put in my ear plugs and began to read my book.  Within five minutes I was out.   Dead to the world.  I didn't hear the safety instructions, I didn't feel or hear the plane push out, taxi or even take off.  I was sound asleep until - you guessed it - a fussy little girl began to scream holy hell about three rows in front of me about an hour into the flight.  And, once again, it was like the parents weren't going to do anything about it.  Finally after about 15 to 20 minutes of blood curdling little kid screaming, the mother took the little girl to the back of the plane and held on to her back there until she finally calmed down.  But I was up for the duration of the flight after that.  

And finally, on our way back to the Quad Cities from Minneapolis, we had not one, but TWO screaming kids on the descent into the airport.  One was seated two rows in back of me and the little girl sounded like she was getting poked with red hot sticks, she was screaming so wildly.  

I don't know, maybe I'm making a bigger deal out of this than I should be.  But it seems to me that when these kids started their screaming, the parents just ignored them initially.  I don't know if disapproving looks or comments from other people finally made them get up and do something about their kids, but it was just aggrevating to hear these kids bellowing on the flights.  

I'm certainly glad my company gives me the option of either driving or flying to my destinations.  The experience I had going to Europe and back more than solidified my contention that I'd rather drive for five hours than fly for one hour.  

But the one thing that still fascinates me about air travel these days - Cindy and I were sitting at a place on Sunday night after I got home and I said, "Geez, I woke up in Lyon this morning and was in Amsterdam today, too!"  That, to me, is still truly amazing...   

Put Out Those Butts!

On Tuesday, Iowa Governor Chet Culver signed a tough no-smoking bill that will prohibit smoking in all public places including bars and restaurants.  Exempt from the ban are the state's Veterans care facilities and casinos.  Iowa is the 22nd state in the nation to ban smoking in most public places.  There are 10 other states who have some sort of limited public smoking ban.  I was rather surprised when I saw that number.  Surprised in that I didn't know that many states had passed legislation before Iowa. 

My wife is a big supporter of no smoking in bars and restaurants.  If we've been out to a bar with friends, we have to peel our clothes off in the bathroom and send 'em down the laundry chute so the cigarette smell doesn't contaminate the bedroom before we go to bed.    

Now, I don't smoke and I never have.  I don't mind if my friends do, but I also implore them to stop from time to time.  I use my mother as the prime example - a long-time smoker, she died of cancer at the age of 62.  That's 10 years away from where I'm at right now.  That's too young. 

I just lost a good friend yesterday - an audio/video manufacturer's representative - at the age of 56 from cancer.  He told me he smoked since he was 13.  He was diagnosed over a year ago, the doctor gave him three to six months.  He lasted thirteen. 

This morning, my buddy Randy Adams told me that a friend in his 50's had a heart attack and had massive blockage in his main arteries.  He'd already HAD procedures to get rid of the blockage before.  And, yes, he's a smoker. 

My sister just had an operation to open the arteries in her leg.  The doctor told her to quit smoking.  We were back in Kellogg for the funeral of an uncle last weekend and we went over to the bar for a beer after the service.  She was smoking.  I know it's tough to quit, but when the doctor says to quit to help save your life, then do something to help you quit. 

With all that said, the public outcry regarding the ban - as you can imagine - is hot and heavy across the state.  The owners of many small bars and restaurants say they'll go out of business if their patrons aren't able to smoke.  But the most vocal are the smokers, while the non-smokers - a large majority of people in the state of Iowa - are silently applauding the ban. 

When Madison, WI proposed a smoking ban in all public places, my friend, Paul Zach, who owns the Avenue Bar in Madison, was one of the leaders of the faction to oppose the ban.  He was worried that he'd lose business as many of his patrons were smokers who would come in for drinks and dinner.  It turned out that his business actually GREW after the ban went into effect. 

Locally, Tappa's Steakhouse on the lower west side of Davenport went smoke free on January 1 of this year - voluntarily.  In the March 24th edition of The Quad City Times, co-owner Jan Tappa said she was "worried to death that if we banned smoking, our business would suffer big-time."

However, in January business at Tappa's was up 25 percent and in February it was up 30 percent.  She said that should show some people that the ban can help business. 

Tappa did say at the time that she was on the side of restaurant and bar owners who were lobbying against the ban.  "Make it voluntary," she said.  "If they want to allow smoking, let 'em smoke.  Don't legislate it." 

And I'm kind of the same way - let the owners decide.  I know some bar owners - especially those selling food - would have loved to kick smokers out of their places long ago.  But they were afraid to alienate a small core of their patrons.  Instead, they decided to let the Iowa legislature be the bad guy in all of this.

Still, there's a number of small bars that don't serve food.  I can see where those places may have a problem with the ban.  There are a number of those places in the Quad Cities - including a little bar called the Dam View Inn where friends of mine congregate after work.  It's a little hole in the wall place - a real dive.  But they have good beer prices and it's a good little place to unwind and cut loose after work.  But it doesn't serve food.

Places like the Dam View - that don't serve food - should be exempted from the smoking ban.  Now, not everyone who goes into those places are smokers.  In fact, one day I took notice of the 17 or so people in the Dam View and counted the smokers.  At that time there were just two people who were smokers.  A couple more showed up later, but the vast majority in the place were non-smokers.  Non-smokers who didn't seem to care there were others in there smoking. 

I'll appreciate the ban when it comes to Iowa.  I will say that we've been going over to Illinois for food and drinks a little more lately because of the statewide smoking ban that went into effect there earlier this year.  But I'm hoping the smoking ban doesn't hurt the little places in Iowa or Illinois.  I think, however, in the long run it will do nothing but help their overall business.   

Get Off My Ass!

I travel about 40,000 miles a year for my business.  I travel in the wide open spaces, I travel in rush hour traffic in large cities, I travel little two lane roads off the beaten path.  And I don't know what it is about people, but there is a total epidemic of assholes who want to just ride about six feet off your bumper - at all speeds.

In one of the first entries I had on this blog (click here) about two and a half years ago, I talked about the worst tailgater's out there - women.  I'd still have to say the vast majority of people I see tailgating are women.  But, I'm telling you, men are catching up.

The only thing I can figure out is that some of these guys think they're in a NASCAR race and they're drafting with the guy ahead of them.  If I can't see the license plate of the car behind me in my rear view mirror.  That's too damn close.  Lately, I've been noticing that some of these idiots are so close I can't even see their headlights!  And that's at 70 miles an hour! 

Interstate 80 between Iowa City and Davenport is getting to be very dangerous.  The amount of traffic that is out there between the two cities has grown exponentially over the past few years.  And there have been some spectacular - and deadly - wrecks over the past couple of years along that stretch.  It's one of the very few stretches of road that I travel where I feel a little nervous behind the wheel. 

Last week, one of my colleagues, John, was in a horrible crash along Interstate 95 in Maryland.  First of all, he was lucky to have walked away from the crash.  Secondly, he was lucky to have upgraded from the PT Cruiser that Hertz tried to give him.  He actually got an Infiniti SUV with a $20 a day upgrade.  But when he drove it away, it was shaking and shimmering all over the place.  He took it back and said, "Man, there is no way that car is safe to drive."

The Hertz location didn't have any other cars - save for one - a Mercedes C230.  The guy let John take it for a $10 a day upgrade.  John called me up and said, "Man, you are not gonna believe what I'm driving!!  This is sweet!!  And I got a sweet deal from Hertz on it!"

He called me a couple days later and said he'd just been in a big wreck.  He was going along in traffic and the cars in front of him began to slow down - and quick.  He was able to stop, but a guy in a panel truck who'd been riding his ass for a few miles didn't.  He plowed into the back of John's rental car, which drove the trunk into the backseat. 

The collision was so severe that it pushed the Mercedes into the rear end of the car in front of John.  And that car then nailed the car in front of it.  The motor housing was pushed back into the passenger compartment on the Mercedes.   

Then on top of all that, the panel truck got nailed from behind collapsing it like an accordion.   It was the quintessential five car wreck.  And John was right smack-dab in the middle.  He was sore and went to the hospital to get checked up, but there was nothing more than some bruises, stiff joints and a sore neck.  But there's a totaled Mercedes that Hertz probably isn't too happy about right now.

Some states, such as Minnesota and Arizona, are implementing programs to cut down on tailgating.  The Minnesota experiment is targeting an area near the Twin Cities where 80% of the accidents are rear-end collisions.  And Arizona has been using a radar-gun device called a LIDAR that clocks the intervals between cars to cut down on tailgater's.   

So, boys and girls, let this be a lesson.  Give yourself an interval of at least two seconds between you and the car in front of you on the Interstate.   And keep at least a couple car lengths at speeds under 30 miles an hour.   Nothing pisses me off more than a person who hangs on my bumper - at any speed.      

Another Reason to Hate (and then, Love) the Cable Company

One other reason why I haven't been able to keep up with my weblog is the fact that my high-speed Internet has been intermittently cutting out.

    Since I got back from Denver on Monday, I've been having sporadic service with my high-speed cable through Mediacom.  It would work for an hour, then it would act like it's not getting a signal at all. Then it comes back on like nothing happens, then 15 minutes later, it goes off.

    I called the repair line yesterday and they had a recorded announcement which said there was an outage problem in my area and they were working to fix it as soon as possible. But all through the afternoon and last evening, it was still going on and off.

    Finally this morning, I'd had it. It was working when I got into the office at 7:30, but suddenly it went dead again. I called up the service line. This time the recording said there were no outages in my area. I talked to a service guy. He had me reset the modem (which I had done numerous times since Monday when the service is down, to no avail). He said, “Well, there's an upstream problem and I'll have to send someone out for service.”

     He then proceeded to tell me the earliest anyone could come would be next Wednesday afternoon. NEXT WEDNESDAY FRIGGING AFTERNOON! (Sorry, my stress meds haven't kicked in yet this afternoon.) I about shit on the spot. Even after I told him that I rely heavily on a high-speed Internet connection for my work, he said, “I'm sorry, but there's no way we can get there until next Wednesday.”

     Since I'm scheduled to be in Lincoln, NE next Wednesday I told him there was no way I could do that. He once again apologized and said that was the soonest he could get a technician over to check on the problem. 

    Finally, I thought I'd bluff him and say,  “Well, then I guess I'm going to have to call AT&T or Qwest and get their high-speed service since I need a high-speed connection now.”

     The service rep said, “Well, if that's what you have to do, sir, then I'm sorry. But we're backed up in your area and that's the earliest possible time we can get repair service to your house.”

     And then the little bastard had the nerve to say, “Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

     I almost said, “Yeah, you can shove Mediacom and their shitty service up your ass!” But I opted to slam the phone down before I could give an answer.

     Earlier this week, my friend Tony Jobe, who lives out in Ohio, was conversing back and forth with me about getting a new HD Antenna to pick up his local HD channels now that he had DirecTV.

    Tony told me that when he called Time Warner to discontinue his cable service, the customer service rep immediately offered to knock $40 bucks off his bill for him to keep TW cable. Tony said to me, “Why don't they take some of that money and apply it to getting the Big Ten Network?”

    (Not having the Big Ten Network on Time Warner was the reason Tony went to DirecTV.  The large cable providers in the Midwest are still balking at the Big Ten Network's demands to put their fledgling network on basic cable, while cable providers continue to push for the Big Ten Network on a digital sports tier.)

      He told me that he has a local friend in Ohio who grew up in Nashville and he has no interest in the Big Ten Network. Tony told him to call up TW and say that he's going to drop the cable service and get DirecTV. That way he could get $40 bucks off his monthly bill.

  So, I got to thinking about Tony's conversation with Time Warner and wondered if I could pull off a similar scam.

    I called Mediacom’s Customer Service and got a representative on the phone. After all the verifications and the like, he asked,  “How can I help you today, Mr. Veber?”

    I told him I needed to know the procedure for discontinuing my Mediacom service. He immediately said,  “Well, I can connect you with that department.”

    I was on hold for about three minutes before I was finally connected to a guy that sounded like he was much more mature than the first customer service rep I had gotten a hold of earlier this morning.  I told him that I wanted to know the procedure for shutting off my cable service by the end of the week. He immediately asked,  “And may I ask why you're wanting to suspend your service?”

    I told him that I had a service issue that couldn't be resolved in a timely fashion. Then I added, “And the Big Ten Network situation not being resolved is another reason.”

    I explained to him that I needed high-speed Internet for my job and it was having intermittent problems since Monday. Even though they said there were service outages in my area the previous day, there were none reported today, but I was still having problems.

    I explained to him I was told the earliest anyone could come out would be next Wednesday afternoon. I said I work in my home office and travel on the road. Even if I could wait until next Wednesday, I was scheduled to be out of town.

    I said, “I realize my $160 a month payment may be just a drop in the bucket to you guys and maybe you don't care if you lose customers because you can't accommodate their schedules. But to me, $160 bucks of perpetual monthly income would be a big deal. I wouldn't want to lose that kind of income.”

    The customer service rep said, “OK, Mr. Veber. Let me tell you what. I want to put you in touch with the head repair supervisor for Mediacom. I think he may be able to take care of your problem.”

    Another three minutes passed. Finally, a man comes on the line and introduces himself (didn't get his name, but he did have the title of chief supervisor for technical service - or something like that). He asked what the problem was and I basically said the same thing that I had said to two previous Mediacom technicians.

    Then I added, “Look, I spend $160 bucks with you people each month and I think that YOU should have to work around MY schedule, not me around yours. High-speed Internet is important to me for my work and if I can't get it taken care of in a timely fashion - one that fits into MY schedule - then there are alternatives like AT&T and Qwest who bombard me with offers in the mail on a weekly basis.”

    The supervisor said, “If we can resolve this service issue immediately and get someone to come out to your house today, would you stay with us?”

    I said, “Well, that's a start.” But now I was feeling cocky. I said, “But let's talk about this Big Ten Network thing.”

    He said, “Well, let me do this first. Let me get a hold of one of the local dispatchers in Davenport, explain the situation to him about how important it is for a high-speed connection in your work, then see if he could get someone to come out today.”

    I said that would be fine and he put me on hold for about three more minutes. He came back on and said, “Mr. Veber, I have contacted the lead dispatcher in Davenport, told him of your situation and he said he would be calling you shortly to set up a time for a service technician to come by within 24 hours and possibly as early as this afternoon. Will that work for you?”

    I told him, yes, that would be acceptable.

    The conversation then turned to the Big Ten Network and Mediacom's refusal to pick it up. Even though I'm siding with Mediacom in this matter in a big way, I played the poor disconnected consumer, caught in the middle of two bull-headed behemoths slugging it out in the pits.

    He told me the cable provider and Big Ten Network are in final negotiations in bringing the network to Mediacom. He said, “There are a few minor details that need to get worked out by our legal department. We hope to have this issue resolved within the next 7 to 10 days.”

    Now, I don't know if that's a standard answer Mediacom uses to hold off those who are looking to abandon the service in favor of satellite, but this guy seemed to be a significant “higher up” in the Mediacom food chain. He talked openly and frank about this situation and definitely had his facts in a row.

    But he refused to answer my questions about possible rate hikes, per subscriber fees paid to the Big Ten, and whether it would be on basic cable or the sports package. But other than that he seemed to be at ease (as in, someone definitely in the know) in talking about the situation.

    He said, “Believe me, we've gone round and round with the Big Ten Network on this, offering them every possible scenario to make this work. They've finally come back with some reworked points over the past couple of weeks and it's something we believe is more feasible than earlier demands they were making.”

    It remains to be seen whether or not this will happen as quickly as he says it may. But as they say on television, stay tuned.

    Oh - the resolution of the above story regarding my high-speed Internet connection through Mediacom.

    The chief supervisor apologized up and down to me about having some underling say they couldn't come out until next Wednesday. I mean, he was falling all over himself apologizing and saying that it's quite evident that I use my high-speed Internet for my livelihood. Which I do, quite a bit. He couldn't have been more accommodating.

    About 30 minutes after the last phone call to Mediacom, my high-speed came back and has worked flawlessly ever since. A technician called me at 4:25 and said he was on his was over. I told him that everything seemed to be working normally, but he said, “Well, I'd still like to come over and run some tests on the modem.”

    He came by about 4:45 and took a look at my set up and then ran a diagnostic on the system. He changed a couple things out for me and he said it improved my Internet signal-to-noise ratio by 6 db - which is significant. He was here all of 20 minutes and there was no charge. Well, dammit, there shouldn't have even been a mention of a charge.

    But just the bureaucratic crap that goes on at places like Mediacom is enough to make me crawl up a wall. It was like the first guy I talked to didn't give a shit about me going to AT&T or Qwest for my high-speed Internet. As I told the chief supervisor, “I would have thought there would have been more of a sense of urgency if your customer service rep heard that I was cutting my service.”

    He said, “There should have been more of a sense of urgency on that person's part and for that I truly apologize.  He was falling all over himself to appease me.  It was kinda fun!

    Well, I didn't get $40 bucks taken off my monthly bill. My high speed cable is working better now that the guy came over and changed the cable and the coupling out. But the aggravation I went through with Mediacom today - even though they were “Johnny-on-the-spot” in getting over and addressing the problem - still leaves somewhat of a bad taste in my mouth.

    Maybe it's time for a beer...

The John Deere Classic

The annual John Deere Classic golf tournament is going on this weekend at the TPC at Deere Run course in suburban Silvis, IL.  The weather conditions for the tournament have been absolutely perfect with highs in the 80's, low humidity and moderate winds.  With as much rain that we've been getting lately, the course is in great shape. 

With Nathan Green the leader at 12 under par, the cut was at 2 under knocking the tournament's big names - most notably 2007 Masters champion Zach Johnson (right), and former P.G.A. and British Open champ John Daly - out of the field for Saturday and Sunday.  Even last year's champion, John Senden, played horribly on Thursday and Friday and missed the cut by eight strokes.

Now, I'm sure even the most seasoned golf fans would be asking, "Who the hell are Nathan Green and John Senden?"  But that's the nature of the beast for the John Deere Classic.  Historically, it's held the week before the British Open and right now the vast majority of the top golfers in the world are over in Scotland getting ready for that tournament.  In fact, Johnson was the only golfer ranked in the Top 50 in the world who came to Deere Run to play.

Well, it should be said that Johnson considers this his "home" tournament, having grown up 90 miles away in Cedar Rapids, IA.  And he is on the board of directors for the John Deere Classic, so it would look pretty bad for him if he didn't commit to play here.  But Zach missed the cut, so he's undoubtedly on a plane to Scotland as I write.

But that leaves a bunch of no-names playing today and tomorrow.   

That's the trouble with the John Deere Classic.  They just don't get a lot of the big name guys to come to the tournament.  I understand the tournament is run in a first class way, a lot of the golfers believe it's one of the better run tournaments on the tour, and there's a lot of community support behind the tournament.  Lord knows how much money the John Deere Classic committee spends on the peripherals to pull the tournament off.

In the past couple of years, they've chosen to make the tournament a novelty act by inviting Michelle Wie to play in the Classic.  Wie, the teenage golfer who is more hype than hope, was invited again this year, but begged off about a month ago citing a wrist injury that has hampered her game this year.  Many of Wie's critics and golfing colleagues have openly questioned her injury, especially with the way she's been "re-habbing" the injury. 

Last year, Wie pulled out of the John Deere Classic when menstrual cramps combined with dehydration from the upper-90 degree temps got her a ride in an ambulance from the course.   Golf purists have railed against men golf tournaments inviting Wie to participate.  Even though I'm not a golf purist, I also wasn't too enamored by her being here when I wrote this blog entry last year.  Her presence helped add some spectators to the gallery, but it also turned the tournament into a two-day circus. 

If that's how the John Deere Classic has to operate to survive, then I'm not interested.  Yes, it was great to get the reigning Masters champ in the field, but if Zach Johnson wasn't A) from Iowa; and B) on the board for the John Deere Classic, he would have more than likely skipped this event, as well.

Still, I'm impressed with the way the community gets behind the tournament.  Seasoned golfers and casual fans still turn out in droves.  One can almost imagine what it would be like if the big name golfers showed up on an annual basis. 

But for now, the JDC is still a small-time tournament in a small metro area, trying to show the world that's it's big time through and through.  But it's not and I doubt if it ever will be.      

Enough Already!

I get a lot of funny stuff sent to me by friends over the Internet.  Some of the stuff is raunchy, but most of it is funny and harmless.  I get a number of pictures and a handful of videos sent to me each week.

There's a new video roaming the Internet from the people at Anheuser-Busch depicting a modern day office staff having to contribute to a "swear jar" each time they cuss at the office.  The money in the tip jar is going to go to a party featuring Bud Light beer.

Click on the link below to view it:

Download swear_jar_300k.wmv

It's actually pretty clever and ingenious.  The ad is a product of a new web site A-B started to show their "not ready for prime time" ads - Bud.TV. There are a number of very funny A-B commercials that have never made television because, well, they border on the far edge of what would be deemed as acceptable by the Federal Communications Commission.   

Of course, European commercials go a lot further in pushing the decency and politically correct envelope as is shown in this commercial:

Download festadelladonna.mpg

In any event, back to the Swear Jar ad - the ad has been such a rage among people that it's criss-crossing the Internet with lightning quick efficiency.  That's got to do nothing but please the execs who handle A-B's advertising account, as well as pleasing the higher-ups at A-B.

The problem is - I've gotten it from EIGHT different people this week!!!  As I say, "Enough already!" 

Seriously, I do enjoy getting these things, but not from eight different directions.  While it may be pleasing the people at A-B and their ad company that it's getting bounced all over the place, it's mildly pissing me off.  Even with high speed capabilities, sometimes it takes 15 to 20 minutes to download these files - especially when I'm in hotels that have horrible high speed capabilities to begin with.

Unless it's something rather unique, I very rarely pass these along to friends, family or colleagues.  I figure if they're making the rounds on the Internet, most of the people I know will get them much sooner than later.   

One other thing that mildly pisses me off when these things are sent:  Usually, the person who is passing it along to me is forwarding it from an e-mail they've received from someone else, who received it from someone else and forwarded it, who received it from someone else, etc., etc.  In each forwarding of the e-mail, there are e-mail addresses attached.  As those e-mails continue to go out and grow exponentially, more e-mail addresses are attached.

This allows "spammers" who may get a hold of a chain e-mail like this to have hundreds of current and working e-mail addresses.  To combat this, if you like to forward jokes, pictures or videos to friends, do this:

First of all, highlight the prior e-mail addresses in the text portion of the forwarded e-mail and delete them.  Then in the "To:" line on your e-mail out, put your e-mail address.  That's right - send it to yourself again.  But in order to shield your friend's and family's e-mail addresses, go to the "BCC:" box and enter the addresses of those you want to send it to.

"BCC" stands for "Blind Carbon Copy."  The people listed on "Blind Carbon Copy" will also receive the message, but the people on the "To" and "CC" lists will not see the names of anyone on the Blind Carbon Copy list.  It's a good practice to get into. 

I don't mind getting the funny stuff people send me, but I do mind getting it over and over and over and over.  But if you're going to keep sending me things, just hide my e-mail address, please. 

The Joys of Air Travel

I'm very glad I drive 95% of the time for my work.  I'm getting to the point where I wish I drove 100% of the time.  However, since it's almost stupid to drive from Iowa to places like Denver, Las Vegas or Montreal, I still have to get on a plane from time to time. 

Flying to Seattle recently reminded me why flying is such a hassle.  Going out was pretty uneventful - except I lost my boarding pass at the Denver airport.  But United was good about getting me another one.  Usually, I stick my boarding pass into my briefcase.  But my computer was in the shop and I didn't take a briefcase with me.  I went to the bathroom and set my boarding pass down.  I finished, washed up and left the bathroom.  When I got to the gate, I found I didn't have my ticket.  I went to the gate agent and told her my tale of woe.  She said, "Oh, believe me.  It happens all the time."

I showed her my ID and she kicked out a boarding pass just like that. 

So other than having to wait about 4 hours as the Seattle-Tacoma airport for the rest of my colleagues to show up, it was a pretty smooth trip to Seattle. 

On the way home, a different story.  I got out to the airport early to see if I could get an earlier flight home (I was scheduled to get back around 10:30 that night).  Turned out that all flights out of Sea-Tac to either Denver or Chicago on United were full that day.  OK, well, that's fine.  I'll wait. 

I boarded my flight to Denver and was seated in a row with a lady seated next to the window, her husband seated in the middle and I had the aisle seat.  During the time before and just after we took off, I noticed the woman was fidgety.  Her husband kept asking her if she was OK.  She kept saying she didn't know. 

About a half hour into the flight, I had dozed off (which is amazing since I can't sleep on planes very well).  Suddenly I was jolted awake by the guy next to me.  His wife was going bonkers and he said, "Sir, please, my wife is having a panic attack!  She needs to get out!" 

It's one of those things where you first wake up, but don't know where you're at.  So after about five seconds, I finally realized this lady was going nuts, breathing hard, writhing in her seat, and pushing at her husband to get out of the way.  I unbuckled and immediately stood up.  And as I did, I stepped on the foot of the guy seated directly behind me.  He was asleep and had stretched his right foot out into the aisle. 

So here's this lady who is hysterical, and now I've got the guy behind me screaming in pain.  Stewardesses are running toward our row and I'm just trying to get the hell out of the way. 

The lady is just going nuts and it's complete chaos in the back of the plane.  I finally got out of the way and the stewardesses got a hold of the lady and took her to the galley in the far back of the plane.  It turned out that she was having a major anxiety attack.  Her husband explained to me later that they had just flown from Laos and she was freaking out from being in a plane for nearly 24 hours.  (Laos to Honolulu to Seattle, then on to Denver before a final flight to New Mexico - yeah, I'd be climbing the walls, too.)

It was all the stewardesses could do to calm this lady down.  They finally took her up to the first class section of the plane.  Hmm, what an ingenious way to get a first class upgrade, I thought.  And it gave me more room in my aisle as her husband moved to the window seat. 

I'd definitely say that in all the years I'd flown that was the first time I'd ever seen that.

And the joy of flying didn't end on that flight.  On the trip between Denver and Moline, I was seated in a row with another woman and right behind a young mother with a 2 year old daughter and a 9 month old son.  Well, the young boy decided to take a humongous and very smelly dump in his diapers.  Oh, my God!!  The smell was horrendous.  It was like the kid had been eating corned beef and cabbage and was washing it back with Old Milwaukee's. 

She took the baby back to the lavatory to change him, but the damage was done.  The smell was so bad the lady next to me put a handkerchief up to her mouth and nose, it was that bad.

So, the next time I climb into my car for a five hour drive one-way, I'll certainly appreciate the nice wide seat, the lack of anxiety filled women, babies with smelly diapers and the fact that I don't have to go through security.  And for that, I'll truly be thankful I don't fly any more than I do.   

I Hate Wells Fargo

I hate phone companies, I hate cable companies and I definitely hate banks.  And Wells Fargo just did something to me recently that made me crawl right out of my skin.

If you read this blog regularly, you'll remember a rant I had against U.S. Cellular back in November.  To refresh your memory, I got thoroughly pissed at the company that I've spent well over $25,000 with in the past 12 years and it turned out they wanted to jack me around when I tried to get a new Blackberry at the promotional price.

Here's the latest story:

I work for a Canadian company and I'm paid in American funds drawn on a Canadian account.  When I'd take my check into one of the Wells Fargo branches in the Quad Cities, the tellers will stop, look my check up and down, have to get the bank manager, look something up in the procedures book and finally allow the check to be deposited.  The whole time, other people in line are looking at me thinking, "What is this guy trying to pull over on the bank?"

It would get so bad that I just started depositing my check into a Wells Fargo ATM.  That way I didn't have to stand there while they went through the motions of not knowing what to do with a Canadian check paying out in American funds.  I'd let some faceless, nameless person down the line figure it out.

It worked great for a long time - I've worked for the company for nearly four and a half years.  But a week ago, I got a rude awakening.

I was paying some bills and I wanted to transfer some money from my checking account to pay on my Wells Fargo credit card.  I got on the Internet for Wells Fargo on-line banking.  I was shocked to see that I had no money in my checking account and that my credit card had been charged nearly $2500 in overdrafts from my checking account. 

I saw that five days after I deposited my check, they reversed the transaction.  I immediately called Wells Fargo and talked to a young lady who told me that the situation was being handled by the Wells Fargo ATM division - a part of the company that is completely separate from the Wells Fargo banking division.  I was told I had to wait until 9 a.m. the next morning to call them up.

Promptly at 9 a.m. the next day, I got a hold of a lady with the ATM division.  She proceeded to tell me that my check is a foreign check and they don't allow deposits of foreign checks into ATM's.  I explained to her that it was, indeed, a foreign check (drawn on the Bank of Canada - the country's central bank, for God's sake!), but it was in American funds.  She said it didn't matter - it was still a foreign check. 

I said, "I've been depositing my checks from the same company into the ATM's for quite some time.  Why all of the sudden you decide to quit taking my check?"

She said, "We've never accepted foreign checks in the ATM system.  We do a series of random audits and you got caught this time."

"Got caught"!!??  She made it sound like I was a common criminal.  Well, that lit my fuse.  I said, "Why didn't you take the check and send it through the regular Wells Fargo channels?"

She said, "We're a separate entity from Wells Fargo banking."

I said, "Aren't you owned by Wells Fargo?"

She said, "Yes, we're a part of Wells Fargo, but we have nothing to do with the banking part of the business."

I was perplexed and dumbfounded at the same time.  I said, "So, let me get this straight.  You're a part of Wells Fargo, but not the banking side."

She sort of hesitated and then slowly said, "Correct." 

"And anything I do on the ATM side is not part of Wells Fargo banking."

She began to stutter and stammer an answer and I finally said, "Look, before you embarrass yourself further and make me more mad, just tell me what you did with my check." 

She said they sent it back to me on February 23 - two days after they reversed the transaction.  I asked, "Was it sent by regular mail or certified mail?"

She sort of stopped for a moment and replied, "Regular mail."

I exclaimed, "Regular mail?!"

She said, "I believe that's how it goes, yes."

I said, "So, let me get this straight.  You sent my check back to me via regular mail for (amount) that has been endorsed, one week after I deposited it, and two days after you turned it down and allowed a number of checks already written against the deposit to bounce." 

(Actually, they didn't bounce - as I said I have credit card overdraft protection, but that still costs money each time an overdraft kicks in.)

"Well, you shouldn't have used the ATM to deposit a foreign check.  It's against our rules." 

I explained to her that I didn't know that it was against Wells Fargo policy to deposit a foreign check.  "I've been doing it for so long, I didn't think there was any problem in doing so!"

Well, I knew I wasn't going to get any where with this lady.  And I know I just made her day calling her first thing in the morning and letting her have it.  I knew she couldn't do anything other than tell me about the company policy and that the check had been sent back to me on the 23rd. 

I still wasn't satisfied, so I went in to see the branch manager at the local Wells Fargo office near our house.  The manager, and I'll give him a shout out because he was a helpful and decent guy - Corey Martin - looked up my account and saw my predicament.  When I asked him if they really did have a bank policy about not being able to deposit foreign checks into an ATM, he sort of squirmed and began to hem and haw. 

I said, "Come on, just say it.  I'm a big boy.  I can take it."

He said, "Yes, there is a policy, but it's one of those 'fine print' policies that no one except for a handful of bank employees know about." 

He explained to me that, yes, the Wells Fargo ATM arm was under the same umbrella as Wells Fargo banking, but they were two complete different entities.  They have two separate company policies as to how to collect money from another bank. 

When I said something about why didn't they just send the check through the regular Wells Fargo banking channel, he said because they are separate entities they don't work together.  Not even in the least. 

Corey did tell me that as soon as the check showed up (if the check showed up) to deposit it through a teller and he'd take care of all the charges on my credit card and subsequent fees charged to my card for the overdraft protection.  He said, "Just call me or come over to my office if you come to this branch and I'll take care of it all right away." 

He commiserated with me in my disgust with the whole situation.  I was just incredulous at how callous the ATM side of Wells Fargo seemed to be.  Corey said, "You have to understand, we have a lot of fraud through ATM's.  It's our biggest problem.  People deposit a check for $10.00 and punch in $1000.00 for the deposit.  Sometimes it's a mistake, but most of the time it's someone trying to float some money in the system." 

He said that foreign checks are flagged because of Homeland Security rules.  He said, "I'm sorry that she said that you 'got caught'.  I would have used a better phrase, but with the amount of deposits that they have to process there's no way that we can fully catch and flag every foreign deposit that comes through."

He finished by saying, "Honestly, any check with a large amount should be deposited with a teller.  Yes, it may not show up in our system until the next day, but at least it's in the bank and not in limbo with an ATM.  If it were up to me, I'd outlaw all deposits in ATM's.  But they are so darned convenient." 

With that, I felt better.  And then I promptly left the bank and went on the road for the next six days.  I figured that if they sent the check on the 23rd from Arizona, it should show up by the 28th at the latest. 

The 28th came, no check.  March 1st came, again, no check.  Cindy called me about 5 p.m. on Friday night as I was getting ready to work a dealer event in Kansas City and she said, "Will, there's no check here." 

I said that if it didn't show up tomorrow, I'd have to call our accounting person in Canada and have her stop payment on the check and then issue me a new one.  I knew that would be a monumental hassle, but I'd have to do it.

It did show up on Saturday.  Fully intact.  Had a letter stapled to it that, in summary, said that it was against Wells Fargo policy to deposit foreign checks in ATM's.  The only problem?  The lady lied to me.  The letter was written on Feb. 23rd, but the post mark on the envelope said it was sent Feb. 26th.  Bastards.   

So, 17 days after I initially deposited the check, I will deposit it again today.  What a hassle.  Thankfully, it didn't kill me financially, but it very easily could have. 

But it's just another one of those things that banks can do - and will do - to make your life miserable and to find more ways to get money out of you.  As bank stocks continue to climb on record amounts of profits generated - all the while taking away more free services or coming up with inane rules to make working with them a disheartening experience - it's clear to me that banks are nothing but a cheerless and disheartening industry designed to crush your will to live.   All the while, they're smiling as they take your deposit over the counter as they rummage through your pockets for nickels and dimes. 

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue

The new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue showed up in my mail box today.  I'm sorry - I must be one of the very few heterosexual males whose "give-a-shit" factor is down near zero when that magazine shows up. 

The cover is graced by the beautiful singer/actress Beyonce - the first non-model or non-athlete to grace the Swimsuit edition's cover.  The subsequent pages are filled with tons of pictures of beautiful - yet, unattainable - women in these unbelievably high-priced bathing suits.  I'm telling you - seeing the price of some of these skimpy swimsuits (some are over $500) tells me that I'm in the wrong business. 

Actually, I normally thumb through the magazine and then toss it.  I look more for the articles on where the photo shoots were conducted.  The girls in the swimsuits, I have no interest in, whatsoever.  Yes, they're beautiful.  But I learned long ago that they're chock full of that age-old drug, "Unobtainium". 

This year, the destinations of the photo shoots caught my eye as a lot of pictures were taken around Memphis and in Cleveland at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame - two places that we've been to in the past couple of years.  They even include a pair of cheesy anaglyphic 3-D glasses for a swimsuit pictorial on Maui. 

The thing that amazes me about the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is that it's the print world's equivalent of the Super Bowl.  Only with a focus on males age 25-54.  At 236 pages, it is twice the size of a normal issue of S.I. and advertising is the big reason why.  Budweiser has, by my quick estimation, has a minimum of six pages in the magazine, including the back side of the center fold out featuring Beyonce, and a full page ad on the back of the magazine. 

There's big ads for Pontiac, DirecTV (featuring a nude Burt Reynolds) and Perry Ellis.  There are ads for other car companies, colognes, and men's clothing.  And ads featuring liquor, motorcycles and consumer electronics.  They are all ads that you have never seen before, and in some cases you'll never see again. 

There's an emphasis on music in the 2007 Swimsuit Issue with performers like Jimmy Buffett, Aerosmith, Kanye West and Kenny Chesney featured with the models.  Well, actually, Jimmy Buffett's guitar was featured with the models as part of a promotion for a new video featuring Buffett and the swimsuit models.

Granted, over the years the S.I. swimsuit issue has jump-started the careers of models such as Cheryl Tiegs, Rachel Hunter, Elle MacPherson, Carol Alt, Kathy Ireland, Cindy Crawford and Stacey Williams (right) and brought them all into the forefront of the pop culture stage.  Well, maybe not Stacey Williams, but she's my personal favorite and I just wanted to post her picture.   

And for years it has stoked the cultural debate as to what constitutes pornography.  Actually, I get the biggest kick out of the printed letters in subsequent S.I. issues from the prudes who bitch about the issue and cancel their subscription.  However, due to modern values weeding out the fun-haters and fuddy-duddies, Sports Illustrated admits that those letters are now fewer and fewer each year.   

Bryan Curtis writes an interesting article on Slate.com about the historical nature of the Swimsuit Issue in an intellectual light.  It's actually pretty fun to read. 

It's Sports Illustrated's highest read issue and you'll see it on newsstands for months to come.  But there isn't much to it, other than pictures of pretty girls in swimsuits and a bunch of ads. 

Now, I better toss it out before Cindy gets home...      

Valentine's Day Boycott

Call me a spoil-sport.  Call me a Grinch.  I don't participate in Valentine's Day.  I refuse to recognize an obscure British observance that has been trumped up by the greeting card industry. 

I went to the store today to pick up some things for fish tacos and I just chuckled when I walked past the greeting card displays at the store looking at all the suckers getting last minute cards.  And I just shook my head as I walked past the floral area that was teeming with people buying overpriced flowers that will last all of three days - tops. 

And the great thing about it - Cindy doesn't believe in Valentine's Day either.  We're of the mindset that if you have to take one day out of the year to show your love to your spouse or significant other, then you must not be very secure in your relationship. 

I've said this before, but I prefer to send my wife flowers on July 23 or October 14 just because it's July 23 or October 14.  And I send her cards when I'm away from her for long stretches at a time.  We leave each other notes and do little things for each other all through the year.   

Oh, and we refuse to go out to dinner on Valentine's Day.  As far as we're concerned, Valentine's Day is just another day. 

So call us blasphemous.  Call us fun-haters.  We're comfortable knowing that we didn't add to the billion dollar plus industry that has suckered millions of people for a number of years on Valentine's Day. 

I'm sleeping well tonight...

Upon Further Review...

As a wise man once told me, "There's two sides to every story."

Or maybe I got that from a song from Joe Walsh.

After talking in a post yesterday about the fun-haters at the National Football League putting the kibosh on planned gatherings at churches and public places to watch the Super Bowl on a large screen projection television, it turns out that it's not the NFL making up arbitrary rules regarding where and how games can be watched.  It turns out that they are fully working within the copyright laws of the United States.

I happened across a radio talk show yesterday where the guest was talking about copyright laws on the heels of the NFL's demand that the Fall Creek Baptist Church does not show the game on their 120" projection screen on Sunday evening.  It turns out that it's illegal for any private party to charge to watch a program, movie, sporting event, etc. on a television larger than 55" diagonally. 

Here's the part of the U.S. Code that deals with watching performances and charging admission for the broadcast performance (shows, concerts, DVD's, sporting events, etc.):

(II) if the performance or display is by audiovisual means, any visual portion of the performance or display is communicated by means of a total of not more than 4 audiovisual devices, of which not more than 1 audiovisual device is located in any 1 room, and no such audiovisual device has a diagonal screen size greater than 55 inches, and any audio portion of the performance or display is communicated by means of a total of not more than 6 loudspeakers, of which not more than 4 loudspeakers are located in any 1 room or adjoining outdoor space;

Even after the church said they would not charge admission to offset the cost of the food they'd serve, the NFL still said, "Huh uh." 

It was because they were going to show it to a large group of people at a church on a screen larger than 55 inches diagonally. 

Thanks to Tony Jobe who sent this along:

NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said the league's longstanding policy is to ban "mass out-of-home viewing" of the Super Bowl. A major exception to the rule is made, however, for sports bars and other businesses that show televised sports as a part of their everyday operations.

"We have contracts with our (TV) networks to provide free over-the-air television for people at home," Aiello said. "The network economics are based on television ratings and at-home viewing. Out-of-home viewing is not measured by Nielsen."

The U.S. code on exemptions for copyright infringement can be found here:

http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode17/usc_sec_17_00000110----000-.html

By the way, it turns out that you can watch the game on two televisions in your house.  And a thanks to Bill Hesson for the homework on finding that provision in the U.S. Code. 

Still, I think the NFL could have done a better job of conveying their position as to why they threatened legal action on the Fall Creek Baptist Church - and other similar gatherings around the nation.  The NFL doesn't need to be so heavy-handed.  In fact, if they had just cited the law instead of been so cold and callous in their delivery, I would have never brought this up in the first place. 

For as good of a public relations department the NFL seems to have, they clearly fumbled on this one... 

Look Out for the NFL Police This Sunday

The Super Bowl is Sunday and the NFL is continuing to confound the common fan/viewer with some pretty silly rules regarding parties and gatherings that will be watching the game. 

The NFL said no to a church group in Indianapolis who wanted to show the game to members of its congregation on the church's large screen projection television.  NFL officials spotted a flyer from the Fall Creek Baptist Church that advertised showing the game on the church's 120-inch projection screen.  The flyer used the term "Super Bowl" which is a major no-no (hence, all the advertisements that refer to the Super Bowl as "The Big Game"), and the church was going to charge a nominal fee to cover the cost of refreshments during the game. 

The NFL sent the church an overnight "cease and desist" letter.  When church officials offered to take the "Super Bowl" out of the flyer and to not charge the nominal admission, the NFL would still not agree to the church showing the game.  The reason?  The screen was larger than the NFL's allowable maximum size.   

The NFL has threatened a number of other churches across Indiana and around the country with legal action.  The league flatly said it will not allow any church group to show the game on their large screen projection televisions.  A number of planned gatherings have since been canceled. 

This was on the heels of an NFL ruling that Indianapolis Colts fans cannot congregate at the RCA Dome to watch the Super Bowl on a large screen projector. “It’s prohibited,’’ Greg Aiello, the NFL’s vice president of public relations said. “Mass, out-of-home viewing is not permitted by our television contracts.’’

The NFL reiterated their stance against mass-viewing of the game with a press release reminding not only churches and organizations, but people holding private parties of the rules of mass viewing. 

NFL PARTY RULES 

For groups that want to host Super Bowl parties -- other than sports bars and businesses that normally show televised sports -- here are the rules the NFL says must be followed:

• No admission fees (even to pay for snacks).

• Only one television (55 inches or smaller).

• No use of the words "Super Bowl" in promotional materials.

• No exhibition of the game in connection with events "that promote a message."

       From what I gather from these guidelines - I cannot have more than six or eight people invited over to my house via a printed invitation and have the 32" television in our family room tuned to the game, while also having the 20" television in our "lodge" also turned on to the game at the same time. 

       That also knocks out people who just went out and bought a 61" plasma television for the game, and who have invited a bunch of buddies over to watch the game and slam back a few beers.

       The NFL does allow sports bars and other establishments that regularly show football to carry the game and they don't have to adhere to the "mass-viewing" rules they set down for private gatherings. 

       Along with the NFL's continuing fight with cable companies over the stipulations they're placing on showing the NFL Network on cable systems, the NFL continues to alienate the people that hold the key to their future growth - the common fan.

       Their conviction on holding ground on their demands for 70 cents per subscriber for cable systems to show the network could be viewed as admirable by some, but their "mass-viewer" rules for groups watching the game is downright asinine.

       I truly believe the NFL is slowly losing their grasp on reality... 

The Circus Begins...

Less than three months since the 2006 general election and 50 weeks from the Iowa caucuses, the field of Democratic presidential hopefuls is now up to eight candidates with another three or four looking to possibly toss their hat into the ring.  Senator Joe Biden from Delaware announced that he will officially announce his candidacy on Wednesday. 

Add in four to six legitimate Republican hopefuls - all of whom haven't entered the race yet - and that's a lot of candidates who will be criss-crossing the state in the next year. 

Since Iowa sits as the first presidential challenge in the nation we're already beginning to see the first candidates come to the state to begin stumping for the nomination. 

And it's only going to get worse.  We're going to see a ton of candidates, be overwhelmed with political ads and unsolicited political phone calls, and we'll be tired of all this by the time July rolls around.

Yesterday, Hillary Clinton was in Davenport for a town hall meeting at the Mississippi Valley Fairgrounds.  Originally, the town hall meeting was to be held at a restaurant near where we used to live in west Davenport called Hickory Grove Family Restaurant - we used to call it the "Old Farts Cafe" because of the amount of old people that would eat at the place.  But because of Hillary's "rock star" status among the Democratic candidates, the banquet room at that restaurant wouldn't have been able to handle just the press who was following Hillary's every step in Davenport.  So they moved it out to the fairgrounds, also because there's ample parking there.

After attending a church service at our friend's Scott and Marcia Schroeder's church (Scott and Marcia weren't there - they went to the earlier service to avoid the crowd), Hillary went to Davenport Central High School for a news conference at the school's media facility. 

Through all of this visit, the City of Davenport is expected to provide peripheral security for Hillary Clinton.  And it wouldn't be just for Hillary Clinton, but for every candidate that will come to the city in the next 50 weeks and beyond up to the 2008 election.  Davenport - like other cities across Iowa - is expected to pick up the tab for the increased security and police presence during the candidates visit.

The City of Davenport has been contemplating asking candidates to help foot the bill when it comes to providing more security and escorting candidates motorcades through the streets.  Actually, I think that's a great idea. 

One of the most infamous happenings in the history of Davenport occurred when presidential candidates John Kerry and George W. Bush held political rallies at the same time in the city on August 4, 2004.  Even with normal patrols on the street, three banks were robbed during the rallies.  All the robbers were eventually caught, but it showed how thinly spread the police officers were and underscored the need for increased patrols during these high profile events - meaning more overtime for the already overworked police force in Davenport.   

The aspect of Iowa taxpayers having to foot the bill for security and protection for presidential candidate visits is mind-boggling. But this year with the prospect of upwards of 15 to 16 total candidates in the field, we're going to see our share of candidates in our towns for the next year.  That's going to be a lot of money spent on making sure crowds stay in line, escorting motorcades and providing peripheral security in conjunction with the Secret Service.

I'm about as apolitical a person there is when it comes to campaigning and I think the jump the candidates have taken on the 2008 race is just ludicrous.  It's less than three months from the time of the last congressional election and I'm still reeling from all the ads and pre-taped phone calls we received for months up to the November election.

I'm sure it's not going to be any different and I - for one - will be more than happy when the Iowa caucuses are done and over with next January.  But until then, I guess I just have to grit my teeth and live with it.

I Hate U.S. Cellular

I hate banks, the cable company and phone companies with equal passion.  Their inane rules and regulations drive me up the friggin' wall. 

Last month, I was paying bills and I looked at our Mediacom cable bill and thought, "This is just outrageous." (It's $141 a month - with high speed internet coupled in there that my company pays for.  Still, just the cable services we have for movies and everything is about $100 a month.)

We have the full movie package - all the HBO channels, all the Showtime channels, Starz, Cinemax, Sundance, etc., etc., etc.  The only problem is that all the programming and movies on Showtime and their affiliated channels SUCK!!!  There wasn't a good movie on any of the Showtime channels all summer long.  We're talking 15 to 17 channels total.  And there hasn't been any more than a couple three that I'd consider watching this fall.

So as I was paying the bill, I called up Mediacom customer service to see how much my bill would be reduced if I dropped all the Showtime channels.   

The gal looked up our account on the computer and she said, "Well, you have the Four Star pack with all the movie channels.  If you dropped the Showtime movie tier, your bill would actually go up $10 a month." 

I said, "You're KIDDING me!"

"No sir, without the full movie package that you have right now, your bill would go up $10 dollars a month."

I was incredulous.  So incredulous that she talked me into the new sports package tier for an additional $3.95 a month!  That's how shocked I was!

I'm telling you - banks, the cable company and the phone companies have you by the short hairs.

Here's another case in point -

I was told recently by my boss that I WILL get a Blackberry - the handy-dandy phone/internet/e-mail device that is the rage with working professionals across North America.  I've been holding out because my local cellular provider, U.S. Cellular, didn't have the latest and greatest 8700 series of Blackberry's.  But they told me they were coming and coming soon.

(As an aside - I've said for years that having U.S. Cellular as a cellular carrier is a step above using two soup cans and string.  Their coverage is pitiful, I get drop outs even in Chicago, and their phones are always a year or so behind the neat phones that other cellular carriers have.  But living in the Quad Cities, our options for cellular carriers are very limited.) 

Last night, I went to pay my bill at U.S. Cellular and I just happened to ask the store manager if the new 8700 series of Blackberry's had made it to them yet.  He said, "No, not yet, but they should be here any day."

After explaining to him that I was ordered to get one, he began to ask me about how I would use it.  More phone than e-mail, I said.  But, then again, the way that some people depend on their Blackberry's - to the order of having them called "Crackberry's" - I may find that I end up using it more for e-mail than phone.  He went through a couple of plans - one for $79.00 a month for 2000 minutes and an additional $39.95 for unlimited usage of the Blackberry for internet or e-mail.  I thought it sounded OK to me.

He said the price of the new Blackberry 8700 series phone they were getting in would be $499.00.  He said that if I signed up for a 24 month plan, it would knock it down to 379.00.  And a special in-store rebate for the nationwide plan I'm on would knock it down another $50 bucks to $329.00.   Oh!  And they had a $50 dollar rebate that would make the final cost $279.00.  Hell, I didn't care - my company was going to pay for it. 

So, I said that I'd be more than happy to re-up for another 24 months - I'd been with U.S. Cellular for over 10 years.  So he asked for my phone number and looked up my current plan.  He said, "Uh, oh."

I felt my anus begin to pucker because I knew he was getting ready to stick it to me.

He said, "I'm afraid that you aren't eligible for the plan.  You still have seven months left on your current contract."

I said, "That's all right.  I'll just go ahead and re-up for another 24 months."

He said, "Well, we can't do that.  You have to break your current contract and then re-sign a new contract for 24 months."

"What??"

He said, "Yeah, I know, it's weird.  But we can't just tack on the 24 months to your existing contract.  We don't do that any more.  You have to break your contract and there's a fee to break your contract."

I stood there with this incredulous look on my face.  I said, "You're shitting me!"

He was good natured about it and he said, "No, I wish I was.  But that's our policy.  I know it's kind of stupid, but that's how it is." 

I asked, "OK, just for shits and giggles, how much would it cost me to break my contract."

He said, "Well, right now with seven months left on your contract, it would be $150 dollars.  But since you're a long time customer and spend a lot of money with us each month (we spend about $200 a month between our two phones), you can probably call customer service and they can - maybe - knock the cancellation fee down to $75 bucks."

I just stood there and looked at him.  I started to laugh and I said, "No really.  You've got to be shitting me!" 

He shrugged his shoulders, looked down, shook his head and said, "No sir.  I wish I was." 

He told me that I could buy the Blackberry outright for $499 and keep the same plan.  I said, "Why would I want to miss out on over $200 bucks worth of savings if I can get it?  That isn't very smart, is it?"

He then started to tell me that I could get on a family plan for $109 a month (plus the $39.95 for the Blackberry plan).  That would allow me to have my regular cell phone and the Blackberry, but have TWO phone numbers that I would use for the next seven months to be able to get the savings plans. 

I said, "Wait a minute.  You're asking me to spend $109 a month for seven months for not one, but TWO phone lines.  That's 7 months times $40 bucks more a month that I don't have to pay if I canceled my current contract right now for $150 bucks."

He stood there for a second and said, "Well, yes, in this case it would be advantageous for you to do just that - cancel your current contract, pay the $150 dollars and get the Blackberry." 

I just started laughing.  And I don't mean just a chuckle.  I was literally standing in the U.S. Cellular store laughing my ass off.  I said, "You know, in seven months when my contract is up, there ARE other options in cellular companies.  I don't necessarily have to work with a local cellular company.  I can easily go elsewhere and do something with AT&T or Verizon.  And if I have to shell out $150 bucks to break a contract with U.S. Cellular just to STAY with U.S. Cellular, that may just be the impetus for me to look elsewhere."

Once again, he sort of gave me that "Sorry" look and shrugged his shoulders.  "You have all those options, sir.  That's correct." 

I just turned and walked away, laughing all the way out the door.  And I'm not snickering, I'm outright laughing.  I didn't mean to be a dickhead, but it was just too outrageous. 

I actually felt bad for the guy because I knew his hands were tied.  He knew it was a stupid rule and the company wasn't looking out for the best interests of their longtime customers. 

I'm going to call the U.S. Cellular customer service line and see what they say.  I've said a couple times before that I was going to switch cell providers, and it may depend on what the person at the other end of the line says when I call in.   

Bastards...

Air Travel

I hate to fly.  Oh, I don't mind the actual flying aspect of it.  I mean, after going through a plane crash, I'm not scared of flying.  It's the hoops you have to jump through before the plane pushes away from the gate. 

I recently had to fly to Denver for the annual CEDIA Exposition.  I swear, I almost drove the 12 hours - one way - just thinking about how much of a pain in the ass it has become to just get on a plane these days.

From the check in of the bags, to the security check point, to the loading of the plane, I see so many things that are so wrong with air travel today that it just makes me never want to fly at all. 

Now that the Transportation Security Agency had decreed that no lotions, liquids or aerosols can be in carry-on luggage, there's more people checking baggage.  On one hand, there's less carry-on luggage.  And that will allow for my laptop briefcase to fit in the overhead compartments whereas before I had to find space where ever I could around the huge bags people would bring on board. 

But the lines to check baggage are much longer and the wait to check in can be excruciating.  Even with electronic ticketing in Denver, I still had to wait 20 minutes before my name was called to give the counter attendant my bag and go on my merry way to the security check in. 

In Denver - and other large airports - they herd people through a maze of roped off aisles, zig-zagging as many as seven times before you reach a TSA security agent who must look at your photo ID and your ticket, just to make sure you are who you say you are.  (Which is OK with me - that only makes sense.)

Then you have to literally disrobe to get through the metal detector.  Take off your shoes, your belt, and take everything out of your pockets.  Take off your watch and any large rings.  Women have to take off necklaces and bracelets.  Take your computer out of your bag and put it in a tub. 

But whatever you do, don't put your shoes in a tub.  I've done that a couple of times and I've had the security agents go ape shit.  (I did it again on purpose in Denver just to see what they'd do.  They just took them out of the tub and ran 'em through without putting up a stink.) 

I will say, however, that since I flew to Europe this spring, the TSA agents have undergone some sort of a personality transformation.  Before, the TSA agents were cold, callous and humorless.  They'd make you feel like you were a hardened criminal going to prison.  On this trip, both at the Quad City International and Denver International Airport, the TSA agents were talkative, smiling, helpful, even cracking little jokes.  They even said, "Thank you."  I was amazed.   

However, getting on the plane is another story.  I'm simply horrified at the way airlines waste time getting people on planes.  It's usually first class and business class, then passengers board either front to back, or back to front.  It's all about "turn around times", or how quickly they can turn around an aircraft for another flight.  Planes that sit on the ground are money losers.  The longer they sit on the ground, the more they lose money.

Southwest Airlines, which uses a "first-come, first-seated" rule (which I hate, by the way), has the quickest turn around times in the airline business today.  Northwest Airlines has begun to experiment with a similar policy on some of their flights.  I don't think I'll be flying Northwest any time soon. 

However, I like the idea the Boeing Corporation has come up with.  In a recently conducted study, computer simulations of passengers boarding various planes showed that a plane could be filled much more quickly if they would board the window seats first, the middle seats second and the aisle seats last.  United Airlines and their "budget" carrier, Ted, use this concept to load planes. 

Also recently, United announced that they were experimenting with a Dual Boarding Bridge (right), a walkway that allows airplanes to be loaded and unloaded out of both the front and the rear door of the cabin.  The "DBB" is y-shaped and fits over the left wing of the plane allowing passengers in the rear of the plane to exit the plane the same time the first class passengers are getting off. 

United is using the DBB at their hub in Denver.  They've purchased a total of five from a Canadian company, Dewbridge Airport Systems, who plans to have the other four installed at DIA sometime next year. 

United is making a big deal about this, but Southwest Airlines first used the concept of dual boarding at the Albany International Airport.  It was used for a couple years before Southwest abandoned the concept because it didn't significantly decrease the turn around time for their already proven concept of first-come, first-seated.

(For a closer look at the study of seating passengers on planes, and the way different airlines seat passengers, click here.)

One other thing that gripes me about air travel - the way airlines blatantly lie to their passengers regarding delays.  I was sitting on a plane at O'Hare for a half-hour waiting to fly back to the Quad Cities the other day.  The pilot came on the intercom and said that they were waiting for paperwork to come through before they could take off.  About 10 minutes later, 4 passengers got on the plane.  Suddenly, the door closed and we were underway. 

Why can't they just say, "Hey, folks, we've got four people that are scheduled for this flight who have just got off a plane at a gate that is a long way from here and they're on their way.  As soon as they get here, we'll get going."  I'd understand that.  I have no problem with that.  But when they lie about it, I've got a problem.

Years ago, the old Trans World Airlines used to pull a trick of canceling flights due to "equipment problems" and would move passengers to later flights.  It turned out that the two flights would only be half full and in order to fill the second plane and not have to run two half full planes, they canceled the first one.  That happened to me numerous times. 

On September 11 when I was walking thru O'Hare to go to my gate for my flight to Denver, I noticed a number of flights were canceled on a number of airlines.  I heard later from my colleagues who were flying in to Denver from all over that a number of flights were canceled nationwide, mainly due to the number of people who DIDN'T want to fly on September 11.  Planes were half full and they were canceling early flights.  Thankfully, they didn't cancel my 8:05 a.m. flight out of Chicago, probably because so many people were going to Denver that week. 

But I'm wondering if those canceled flights were due to "equipment problems".  Just tell me the truth and I can live with it.  No use getting worked up over something that is completely out of my hands. 

Flying - a necessary evil in my life...      

Michelle Wie

The annual John Deere Classic golf tournament begins today at the TPC at Deere Run course in Silvis, IL (see map).  The tournament has always been a second-tiered event on the PGA tour and is always just before the British Open so they don't get a lot of the high ranking golfers to come here to play.  In fact, the highest ranked player on the PGA circuit to play here this year is Chris DiMarco, ranked 22th in the world. 

In order to get some press and build up some excitement, John Deere Classic tournament officials have extended Michelle Wie, the Hawaiian-born, 16 year old golfing phenom, a sponsor's exemption to come play the tournament again this year. 

Last year, she played for the first time, but didn't make the cut, shooting a one under par 141 and missing the cut by two strokes.  (The TPC at Deere Run is a pretty easy course by TPC standards.  Sean O'Hair, last year's winner, shot a 16 under 268 to win by a stroke.)

Now, from all indications, Michelle Wie is as grounded of an individual as one can be.  She seems humble, she's not outlandish in behavior, she doesn't say the wrong things or is boastful in her interviews.  And she can't be - she hasn't won anything on the LPGA tour.  Oh, she came close in the recent Women's United States Open.  She contended for the lead through the final round, but faltered at the end and settled for a three-way tie for 3rd.

Which brings me to my point - why in the hell is she playing a men's event when she hasn't won anything on her own tour?  She hasn't earned or accomplished anything other than being a 16 year old girl who can hit it 280 yards out of the box. 

Annika Soremstam was given a sponsor's exemption to play The Colonial tournament in 2003, the first woman to play a PGA event since Babe Didrikson-Zaharias played the 1945 Los Angeles (now Nissan) Open.  At least she'd won 35 to 40 LPGA tournaments up to that time.  Michelle Wie's best finish in a tournament is 2nd in the 2005 LPGA championship (when she was still an amateur).  And she's only accomplished that high of a finish one time.

Now, Wie cannot become a member of the LPGA until she turns 18 (which will happen in October of 2007), so she has to apply for and get exemptions in many of the events she plays in.  She can only play in six fully sanctioned LPGA events a year.  Still, she's nothing more than a circus act, taking away a lot of press from more deserving players who are trying to hammer out a living on the PGA circuit.

And the local papers are playing Wie up.  Yesterday's Quad Cities Times splashed a headline banner that read, "Youngsters Rally Around Wie".  (I have a problem with a lot of the QC Times headlines.)  The accompanying story focused on Wie being somewhat of a "pied-piper" for the kids who came out to see her play in an exhibition Tuesday.

The Quad City Times is always big on promoting things for kids to do, which keeping them off the streets and out of trouble I'm all for, as well.  They're taking the Wie appearance and running with it - right into the ground.  I think there are more appealing and energizing stories to look into.  However, it's all Michelle Wie and all the time. 

But Wie said something that struck me as interesting - and probably horrified the officials at the John Deere Classic (and the editors at the Times). 

She said that kids shouldn't take golf too seriously.  And even though she downplays the notion that she's a role model (something the Times tried to play up), she did say that she was happy that more girls were taking up the game of golf.  But in the next breath she cautioned the young players about being "obsessed" with the game. 

Her hidden message?  "Not everyone has my talent and size (she's 6'1" - an Amazon of a girl) and don't take it too seriously or it will torment you the rest of your life." 

I like Michelle Wie and I hope that she eventually becomes one of the all-time leading winners on the LPGA circuit.  But until she does, she has no business playing in a men's tournament - not even a two-bit event like the John Deere Open. 

The World Cup

I'm sorry - I don't get the hullabaloo about World Cup soccer.  Actually, I don't understand the allure of soccer at all. 

In the World Cup final in Berlin on Sunday, France and Italy played to a 1-1 draw after 90 (plus) minutes of regulation. (I also don't understand the extra time added on at the end of regulation - it seems like it's some arbitrary amount of time pulled out of mid-air by the referee.)  Then they played two 15 minute (plus) overtime periods before they went to penalty kicks.  Italy won 5 goals to 3. 

Actually, the most exciting thing about soccer is the penalty kicks.  A player gets to try and kick the ball in the goal from about 15 yards away.  It's mano-a-mano, (not to be confused with mano-y-mano, which is what I saw on a billboard for a gay porno theater in Miami Beach one time years ago) with the goal keeper anticipating which way the "shooter" will kick the ball.  Actually, France lost the penalty kick phase when one of their players hit the top of the goal bar with his kick. 

And another thing - why do they call them penalty kicks when there really is no penalty?  Why don't they call it a shoot-out - like they do in the National Hockey League?  (Another professional sport that I have no interest in watching.)

With the way the games of the World Cup tournament are played, it's a wonder anyone wants to watch them.  They're completely boring. 

There were 40 games (out of 66 in the World Cup tournament) where at least one team was shutout.  7 of those 40 games ended up "nill-nill", with neither team scoring in regulation.  13 of those 40 games ended up 1-0.  5 of the 66 games ended 1-1. 

The biggest blow-out in the World Cup was Argentina's 6-0 shellacking of Serbia-Montenegro.  That game tied with Germany's 4-2 win over Costa Rica for the most goals in a match during the World Cup.  Spain, the Ukraine and the pre-Cup heavily favored Brazil were the only other teams to score 4 goals in a game.

In the semi-final match between Germany and Italy, neither team scored during regulation, plus about 3 minutes of extra time.  The first 15 minute overtime continued to be a scoreless affair, but Italy finally scored a goal in the 119 minute of the match - basically, the final minute of the game.  There is no "sudden death" in World Cup play in overtime, as there is in the NFL, so the match continued.  So for good measure, Italy scored AGAIN less than a minute later. 

I didn't see the two scores (although I had peeked in for a moment, earlier), but my friend, Scott Schroeder, who understands the game of soccer much better than I (given that his son, Greg, used to play for Davenport Central high school), told me that Spain suddenly opened up the field and played the way international soccer is supposed to be played. 

Now, I don't claim to be an expert on soccer.  Although, I have to admit, I was a good soccer player when I was much younger - and in good shape.  But quite, frankly, I hated to play the game.  Too much running and not enough scoring. 

And that's what it is with me and world class soccer these days.  They run up and down the friggin' field for 90 plus minutes, no one scores, and then they don't score in overtime, and it gets down to the penalty kicks. 

Why don't they just cut to the chase and go for the penalty kicks at the start of the match? 

I think of the penalty kicks to decide a game similar to two basketball teams playing to a draw after regulation and two overtimes, then settling the game by shooting free throws.  Actually, hitting free throws would be tougher than the free kicks they take for penalty kicks. 

Still, I understand the television ratings for the World Cup - even with the United States' early exit - are up significantly from the 2002 World Cup figures.   A lot of that has to do with the expansion of games shown on ESPN and on the Spanish-speaking Univision networks. 

However, they're not huge numbers in the United States.  ABC averaged a 2.5 rating and about 2.8 million homes through the first 8 games they broadcast (including the U.S./Italy game that had 4.4 million viewers).  Ratings for the final game will be made available in a couple of days. 

Considering the recent NBA Finals between Dallas and Miami garnered an average of rating of 8.5, which isn't all that great for a major professional sport, soccer still has a ways to go to connect to the mainstream of American viewership. 

Opening up the game and allowing more scoring would be the first fix I'd put in place.  However, given the television ratings and the interest around the world for the World Cup, I don't think FIFA, the international body that governs soccer, is going to be changing things any time soon.

So my interest level in the 2010 World Cup in South Africa will be similar to my interest level this year.  Passing - at best...

Maytag to Close in Newton, IA

Growing up just outside of - and living in - Newton, IA for a number of years, the local economy was powered by the Maytag Corporation.  At one time, Maytag was the largest washing machine company in the world with their headquarters in Newton, along with two large manufacturing facilities and a small manufacturing facility.  They had a number of other manufacturing plants in places like Herrin, IL, Searcy, AR, and Jackson, TN; and they also owned the Amana refrigeration plants in the Amana Colonies and near North Liberty, IA.

Maytag got into trouble a few years ago after they acquired the Hoover brand of floor care products and were saddled with extreme amounts of debt.  Never able to turn Hoover around, and with Hoover being too big of a financial albatross to cut it and run, Maytag slowly slid in profits. Their stock, which was over $70 a share a few years ago, was trading in the mid-teens late last year. 

A couple of companies came in to look at taking over Maytag, and Whirlpool made an offer to buy up the stock and debt of the Maytag Corporation last year.  The Justice Department took a long hard look at the takeover as it would give Whirlpool something like 70% of the appliance market in the U.S.  They finally allowed the sale to go through in April and people in Newton have been sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear if the headquarters and the manufacturing facilities would be closed.

The announcement was made this morning - the headquarters in Newton would be consolidated with the Whirlpool headquarters in Benton Harbor, MI; and the factories will be closed in Newton.  2200 salaried and hourly workers will be let go sometime between now and into 2007.  Factories in Herrin, IL and Searcy, AR will also be closed.

The announcement really wasn't of any big shock, a lot of people in Newton were expecting the worst.  Maytag had gone through a large purge of high salaried and highly paid hourly workers over the past 18 months, and the manufacturing costs at the Newton plants (including salaries, health care and retirement plans) were extremely high.  Whirlpool estimated that they can make five appliances in their factories at the same cost of what it takes to make one appliance in Newton.

There is an air of uncertainty going on in Newton today, no doubt.  The population of Newton has been dropping over the past few years, going under 16,000 at the last census count in 2000.  Newton High School has been losing enrollment over the years and they will go down a class in most of their major sports beginning next year. 

This will affect a number of people whose life is either directly or indirectly touched by Maytag being in the community.  Even though the number of Maytag employees affected who live in Newton will be around 1100 people, that's still a large chunk of the population for a city like Newton.

I talked to two buddies today, Jeff (Burph) Versteegh and Bob Jackson - both of whom have worked at Maytag for over 19 years, and they were pretty much resigned to the fact that the plants would close long before the announcement.  It wasn't quite the shock to them, nor to many people in the city of Newton.  But it was something they didn't want to think about until the announcement was made.

Still, both Burph and Bob kept their sense of humor about things.  Burph said that he was going to move to Davenport and move into Jane's house, while Bob said that he was going to go join the Navy. 

Still on the bright side of things - the infrastructure for a manufacturing facility remains in Newton.  They could possibly use the two main Newton plants as an incentive for another manufacturer to come to town, or they could use the factories as an "incubator" type of facility where a number of manufacturers are housed under one roof. 

My sister, Julie Rose, who is realtor in town, is optimistic that if people do move from Newton that the housing market will still stay strong because of Newton's close proximity to Des Moines (about 35 miles from downtown Newton to downtown Des Moines).  She's hoping people in the Des Moines area would look toward Newton because of lower housing prices and lower property taxes. 

Still, it's a considerable blow to the community.  Newton certainly didn't have a lot going for it and the local chamber of commerce has been struggling for years to promote the city.  The new Iowa Speedway being built just south and east of Newton will provide some economic boost, but not enough to sustain the loss of Maytag.   

Earlier today, the governor of Iowa announced a proposed $10 million grant to the city of Newton and Jasper County to help spur economic development in the area after Maytag closes it's doors.  Already, officials in Webster City and in Mount Pleasant were criticizing the governor's plan because both communities will be losing manufacturing facilities this year.  They want to know where their economic development money is. 

Still for a city like Newton, losing Maytag is a much larger blow to the psyche of its citizens.  Maytag has been part of the culture of Newton for over 100 years.  At one time, more washing machines were built in Newton than in any other place in the world.  Years ago, the city boasted a number of washing machine companies.  A lot of them went out of business or were bought out by others, but Maytag persevered. 

Until today...

Isabel Bloom Stays Put

In a stunning reversal of a decision that was deemed as "irreversible" when the original announcement was made nearly a couple of weeks ago, the owners of the Isabel Bloom sculptures that are made in the Village of East Davenport announced yesterday that they made a monumental mistake and will not be closing their Davenport production facilities and moving operations to China.   

As I posted in a blog from last week, the public outcry from the announcement was enormous.  The decision by the three owners of Isabel Bloom, LLC was nearly unanimously panned throughout the Quad Cities.  People who were longtime Isabel Bloom collectors and buyers said they'd no longer buy the concrete cast sculptures if they were made in China. 

I just sort of sat back and chuckled through all of this.  First of all, about the only unique feature that Isabel Bloom sculptures have is that they're made in Davenport.  Secondly, they aren't really sculptures - they're poured concrete into cast molds.  The tough thing is making the molds. 

I thought, "Why couldn't they continue to make the molds in Davenport, them ship them over to China and use Chinese concrete?"  Actually, I think that's what they were going to do.  But, no, it takes special artisans to pour concrete into the molds and to extract the "sculptures" out of the casings, then sand them down by hand. 

Now, a sculpture - to me - is something that you make out of your own hands.  Isabel Bloom's figurines are poured concrete into a cast mold, plain and simple. 

I don't understand the allure of the sculptures.  Obviously, a lot of other people must feel the same way.  The owners have said that sales are down 30% over the past six years and profitability has shrunk by nearly 75% during the same time.

I still maintain that it's the designs that are causing the slump in sales.  I don't see much of anything Isabel Bloom makes that I would want to sit on our mantle at home.  I think they need to look within themselves and come up with some fresh ideas. 

So, the good news is that 50 people who were going to lose their jobs by June are now staying on board now that production won't be moving to China. 

Or will it? 

In an article in today's Quad City Times, Isabel Bloom's owners say that any regional expansion will still require the manufacturing of new figurines overseas.  They wouldn't say which region of the U.S. the Chinese-made sculptures would be first sold in, but they said they anticipate those figurines to be on store shelves by this fall.   

They said the overseas-made figurines would be "differentiated" in some way from the ones that would still be made in Davenport.  Those Iowa-made sculptures would be offered in Isabel Bloom-owned stores in Davenport, Moline, West Des Moines and Naperville, as well as in other Midwestern retail outlets that have been carrying Isabel Bloom products for a number of years.  But they didn't elaborate what those differences would be. 

The power of the people got the owners of Isabel Bloom to reconsider their closing of the production facility in Davenport.  But I have to wonder how long it will be before they begin to let the staffing numbers fall in Davenport. 

Either that, or have Donna Young, the chief designer for Isabel Bloom, come up with some better - and more desirable - designs. 

Isabel Bloom

We don't celebrate Valentine's Day in our household.  We've taken the approach of "Why do you need to show your love toward your spouse (significant other, partner - take your pick) just one day a year?"  It's all contrived and insignificant in my book. 

I prefer to send Cindy flowers on July 17 or September 23, just because it's July 17 or September 23 and not because we all have to kow-tow to the decision makers at Hallmark and FTD Florists and put a few more bucks in their pocket by buying vastly price-inflated cards, over-priced flowers that will be dead in three days, and insanely expensive pieces of crap they have available only for Valentine's Day. 

OK, so some of you are saying that I'm cheap.  I like to look at myself as one who is sensible and pragmatic.  But I prefer to show my love to my wife 365 days a year and not just on the one day that someone tells me to because it's a marketing driven "holiday" to drive retail sales between Christmas and Easter. 

With that said, when I got back into Davenport last week after being out for four days, the big news was the announcement that Isabel Bloom would be moving their manufacturing operations from the Quad Cities to China. 

For those of you not from the Quad City area of Iowa and Illinois - and who are not into buying little collectable sculptures and figurines - you're understandably asking, "Who the hell is Isabel Bloom?"

Actually, there are two Isabel Bloom's - the artist and the company who uses her name. 

Isabel Bloom, the artist, died in 2001 at the age of 93.  She was born in Texas but moved to Iowa when she was a little girl.  She studied at the Stone City Art Colony under the eye of the renown artist Grant Wood.  There, she met her future husband, John Bloom.  The Bloom's moved to Davenport, where Isabel grew up, and in her basement she began to make figurines and small sculptures cast from concrete. 

These figurines - which were of hearts, flowers, small animals, people hugging, etc. - became high in demand in the Midwest for people to give as gifts for birthdays, weddings and VALENTINE'S DAY.  Bloom's popularity flourished and her business grew tremendously. 

The name Isabel Bloom became a corporation as her business grew.  She eventually moved into a studio in the Village of East Davenport and employed a number of artisans and assistants to help make the sculptures.  These were then sold in her shop in the Village of East Davenport, and in other small independent shops around the Midwest.  Her sculptures and figurines were very big in Chicago. 

After John Bloom died a number of years ago, Isabel Bloom carried on with her work.  In 1995, well into her 80's, she sold Isabel Bloom, LLC to three area businessmen who were determined to take the Isabel Bloom sculptures and figurines nationwide and, eventually, worldwide.  They opened up shops in Moline, IL, Naperville, IL, and West Des Moines, IA.  Isabel was still involved with some of the sculpture decisions, but most of her work was passed on to her protege Donna Young.

Before she passed away, Isabel was worried of the "over-commercialization" of her artwork.  However, she also said she knew it was inevitable that it would happen that way when she sold the company in 1995. 

The company had a sales spike in 2000, the year before Isabel Bloom died.  However, after her death, sales began to slump and the owners ended up laying off about 30 production artisans and assistants.  Sales continued to slump and just last week, the owners of Isabel Bloom, LLC said they would be laying off the last 50 of the production artists and assistants in the Davenport studio and production facility, and moving the manufacturing of the sculptures and figurines to China. 

The public outcry against the move has been voluminous and vitriolic (that means there's a lot of pissed off people around here).  Some of the of the more passionate ones are calling for a complete boycott of all Isabel Bloom sculptures and figurines. 

Even though production will continue in Davenport until June, people were lined up at the Isabel Bloom shops in Moline and Davenport last Friday, the day after the announcement, to get "true" Isabel Bloom pieces.  Local news stations were on hand to get comments and reactions to the closing of the manufacturing in Davenport.  It was a zoo, to say the least. 

Personally, I never really understood the fascination for the Isabel Bloom products.  I thought they were overpriced pieces of cement.  Here's an example - the figurine to the right is called "Tiny Treasures".  It's actually the smaller of two similar sculptures and it retails for around $95 bucks.  The larger of the two similar sculptures retails for about $115 dollars. Holy shit!  OK, it takes some time to design and to make the mold, but in the end it's concrete going into a mold that they'll use time and time again to make more of these overpriced pieces of formed rock. 

That's why I've never figured out the allure to the Isabel Bloom pieces. 

A couple years ago, my nephew got married and we wanted to get him an Isabel Bloom wedding sculpture.  They didn't have the one we wanted to get them any longer and the ones they had were, well, quite frankly, they looked like crap.  The designs didn't seem to be as innovative as they were before.

And to top things off here's another little story (don't you like how I can ramble on about nothing?). 

There's a young local artist by the name of Jillian Christy who Cindy discovered a few years ago when Jillian was still in high school and selling her figurines at art fairs around the Quad Cities.  Cindy has purchased a number of Jillian's sculptures - not only for herself, but for her sisters and others.  One of the figurines is what I call "The Three Sisters", pictured at right (Cindy is the oldest of three sisters).  All of Jillian's figurines are similar - the people in her sculptures are happy and smiling.

About two months ago on a local news show here in the Quad's, Donna Young from Isabel Bloom had a number of their new designs on and was showing them off. One that she showed (picture on right) made me jump out of my chair and go get Cindy's "Three Sister's" figurine because it looked like a blatant rip-off of Jillian Christy's work. 

One of the owners of Isabel Bloom, LLC said in an interview that sales had dropped nearly 30% from what they were in 2000.  He said that in order to be more efficient and to be able to take the Isabel Bloom name "nationwide" (the products has been available nationwide, via the Isabel Bloom web site) they have to move production to China. 

Basically, he's saying what I've been thinking all along - these are over-priced pieces of concrete.  Any sane person isn't going to fork over $115 bucks for something that looks like a lawn ornament that you can get at a local garden store.  We need to make 'em cheaper. 

But last weekend, one of the owners also said something that I thought was rather interesting.  He said they didn't anticipate the royal screaming and verbal protests they've received for their decision to move the production to China. 

Well, duh!  Isabel Bloom is a Quad City icon!  They may has well just go over and pee on her grave while they're at it.

But actually, I think there's more to this slump in sales and I'm quite surprised no one is bringing it up.

What they should be looking at as to the drop in sales is the person who is doing the designing.  If sales are down, could it be said that quite possibly the designs are not what people are looking for?  Sales and Marketing 101 taught me that years ago. 

The argument could also be made that since Isabel Bloom is no longer alive and doing the design work, the figurines and sculptures are not as popular or in demand as they once were.  That's quite possible, as well.

A lot of people around here are worried that we'll begin to see figurines with the Isabel Bloom name on them - made in China stamped on the bottom - in places like Wal-Mart or Target.  I'll tell you, they'll have to change some of the designs if they want to make a go of it in those places.

So what new designs can they come up with when they switch production to China?  Well, how about figurines of NASCAR race cars?  Or what about sculptures of some of today's cult of personality names?  People like Oprah, Tom Cruise, Madonna, J-Lo, etc., etc.

Personally, the first one that I'd go out and get if they'd make it is the longtime favorite and never out of date "Little Boy Peeing in the Creek"...

It's a Racket!

They tell passengers before they DEPART their planes in Las Vegas that one should be at the airport no later than TWO hours before their outbound plane leaves.  The day after the Consumer Electronics Show is always a zoo at McCarran International Airport.   But they had over 150,000 attendees this year and it seemed to be even more of a zoo when we pulled up in front of the departure terminal this morning. 

After taking some guys in my company to their respective terminals, I had to take the rental van back to Hertz. I get on the bus to take me back to the terminal.  By the time I get there, it's 9:46 - well ahead of schedule for my 12:07 p.m. flight.

I go to American Airlines' self-check in they have at the Las Vegas airport, I wait for about five minutes to get my bag checked.  It would have been a lot sooner if the lady holding up the rest of the line trying to figure out how to move 4 pounds from her main bag to a small carry on because her bag weighed 54 pound.   Just pay the friggin' $20 dollar fee, or whatever it is, lady!  A guy behind me said, "Shit, I'll pay the overweight fee for her, let's get going!"

Get my bag checked, walk to security check in.  No, I wouldn't mind the TSA so much if they wouldn't treat people with a little common decency and not view each passenger as a criminal or the enemy. 

Get through security with flying colors.  (At CES two years ago the wait to get through security came close to 5 hours.  Many people missed flights and had to spend another night in Vegas.  Suffice it to say there were a lot of pissed off people that year.)

I take the tram out to the D terminal and at 10:19 a.m. I'm sitting at my gate. 

I finally figured out why they want us to get out to the Las Vegas airport early - it's a money making racket.  You're sitting bored waiting for your flight and you can go put a few coins in a video poker machine, or you can go get a $7.00 luke warm beer or a $11.00 barely edible hamburger.  Stupid...

By the way, the airlines won.  They finally made me a tea-totaler on their flights.  $5 bucks for a beer!  Holy shit!  It's getting to the point that you have to be a millionaire to drink on airplanes these days. 

Actually, McCarran International Airport is one of the nicer airports that I've flown into.  The new airport at Detroit is very nice, as is John Wayne in Orange County, California.  Nevertheless, I still hate airports and every thing involved with them.  The traffic, the people, the airlines, security, etc., etc. 

And to top it off - my boss is proposing that I take over Michigan and Ohio for my territory starting later this year.  I'm afraid that I'll have to be flying a lot more than I want to starting later this year. 

Glorified Bus Stops

Air travel is such a pain in the ass these days.  The continual "hurry up and wait" mentality that permeates the industry is getting tiresome.  Then you add in the over-exuberance of the TSA and it just makes it a brutal chore to fly any more. 

I stood in line at the American Airlines desk today for 45 minutes - 20 minutes of which was watching a young family of five (mom, dad, three kids under the age of five) trying to get checked in.  There's obviously some rules about what can and can't be done with kids under the age of five as two of the kids had to have this lanyard and packet placed around their neck with their ticket information on them at all times. 

The problem was that there was only one agent at the check in desk.  One person!  And he had to check in people who were both going to Dallas and to Chicago.  It was maddening.  Finally, a lady showed up and motioned for me to come over to her.  I go up to her and she abruptly said, "Oh, wait a minute."  And she disappeared into the backroom.  And she never came back out.  Another guy came out to help and I'm standing there with my thumb up my ass for 10 minutes - the lady never came back out. 

Finally, I said, "Hey, I've been standing here for 10 minutes."

The second guy who came out said, "She'll be back."

I said, "Well, obviously she isn't coming back or she would have been here by now."

And he said, "Well, that's just Carol."

Like I'm supposed to go, "Oh, of course.  Carol.  I should have known she'd leave me standing here." 

Finally, I got the guy to help me, and once again, he said, "Well, that's just how Carol is." 

I said, "Does Carol's supervisor know that's the way she is?"

He said, "Carol is the supervisor." 

And people wonder why airlines are losing money right and left.

Flights are late, the give-a-shit factor among some of these airline employees is just maddening.  I'm sitting in DFW right now waiting for a flight to Las Vegas that has been delayed, considering the first flight I was supposed to be on they overbooked and put me on this flight. 

And people wonder why I like to drive every where these days...

Goin' To the Movies

A Christmas Eve tradition for Cindy and me is to go to the movies.  This year we went to see "The Family Stone" with Diane Keaton, Craig T. Nelson, Sarah Jessica Parker, Claire Danes, Dermot Mulroney and Luke Wilson.  The movie was OK, better than average.  It was a good comedy, a heavy drama and a chick flick all at the same time.  Pretty tough to pull off on paper, but it worked for me.  Cindy thought it was a little slow paced. 

But that's not what got me - when we first went into the movie theater, on the outside doors was a sign that said, "Absolutely NO outside food or drink may be brought in!"  Cindy remarked, "Well, that's certainly new."

Now, I'm one of those guys who is a sucker for popcorn and something to drink at a movie.  Cindy said, "Are you really going to get that old popcorn and the syrupy pop at the movies?"  I said I had to.

Well, after last night, I don't think I'll be doing that any longer.  A small bag of popcorn was $3.35 - I spill more popcorn than what was in that bag last night.  And a small Coke was $3.85!  Holy shit!  A 16 oz glass of syrupy pop that I couldn't finish it was so sweet that was filled to the top with ice - $3.85.  Jesus!  No wonder they don't want people bringing in outside food.  Once you're in there and you want something to eat or drink, they got you by the short hairs.

After paying $9.00 a ticket to get in and then spending $7.54 with tax on a small pop and an equally small bag of popcorn, there's no wonder attendance at movie houses across America is down. 

We only go once a year - sometimes a couple times if there's a movie that we want to see sometime other than at Christmas.  And at prices like that, we're only going to continue to go to one or two movies a year.  I'd rather rent the DVD, get the extra features, deleted scenes and director's commentaries; or wait for it to show up on HBO or Showtime.   

Drivers With Hats

I drive about 40,000 to 45,000 miles a year.  With the exception of a two year period when I was the G.M. of an audio/video store in Davenport in the early 90's, I've been driving that much since 1986. So I see a lot on the road, learn what to look for, and have actually done scientific experiments to validate my theories.

Here is one of my main theories of driving - The worst drivers are the ones wearing hats.

The hat phenomenon came about when I was traveling with my friend, Matt Butler, in the late 80's and a guy pulled out in front of me when I was going about 40 mph down a main street in Des Moines.  Matt said, "Oh, God.  He's wearin' a hat." 

I said, "What?"

He said, "People that do something stupid behind the wheel of a car are usually wearing a hat." 

So I took his hypothesis and turned it into a theory based on some observations of some of the people who continued to drive down the road with a turn signal on, who would be driving 50 miles an hour in the left lane on the interstate, who would pull out into fast traffic and go about half the speed other drivers were going.  In nearly all instances, the person who pulled those driving transgressions was wearing some sort of a hat.

I was driving on Interstate 80 once with my sister and I was coming up behind a semi with a small pick-up truck right behind it.  As I pulled out to pass both of them, the pick-up truck decided to pull out and pass the semi.  The only problem is that the semi was going 61 and the guy in the pick-up was going 62.  And he wouldn't speed up.  So I had to sit behind this guy for nearly three miles as he inched his way around the semi.  (Thankfully, most states have laws that require you to get past another vehicle within a two mile stretch on an interstate.)

So, I was telling my sister that the guy was probably wearing a hat.  We got up closer to him and she said, "No, I don't think he's wearing a hat."  And it appeared that he wasn't. 

He finally got past the semi and pulled back over into the right hand lane.  As we were passing him, we looked over at him.  He was wearing a Jewish yarmulke.  I said, "Well, that's a type of a hat so my theory still holds water."

Other "hatted driver" transgressions, as observed while I was driving in Chicago recently.  Sitting stopped when the traffic light is green.  Coming over into my lane without looking to see if anyone is there.  Trying to turn left where no left turn is allowed.  Each time, the driver was wearing a hat. 

So the next time another driver does something stupid, or impedes the flow of traffic, check him out - I'll bet he's wearing a hat. 

Tailgaters

I'm not talking about the type of tailgaters who go to Iowa football games and party before and after the game.  I'm talking about an aggravating sector of the population that gets on your bumper - at any speed - and just hangs there.

And my scientific experiments have found that in about 95% of the cases of tailgaters, they are - horrors!  WOMEN!!

Women are the worst tailgaters on the road.  I have no idea what is in the head of some of these ladies who come up behind me on the interstate - I'm going 72 miles per hour, they're going faster - then they get up behind me about a car length and instead of passing me, they just sit there on my bumper for the next five miles!

Cindy was a horrible tailgater when I first started dating her.  I'd be riding with her and she'd be on the ass end of the car in front of her and I'd say, "Cindy, back off!  You're gonna smack this guy if he has to hit the brakes!"

So, a few days later, Cindy calls me up at home during her lunch hour.  She's in tears.  She said, "Oh, God!  I just ran into the back of a guy on my way home for lunch!  And you told me it was going to happen!" 

She doesn't tailgate any longer...

And women - here's another tip when you drive on the interstate - it's called a Cruise Control.  Learn how it works and use it.  I can not tell you all how many times I get passed by a woman, she pulls in the lane in front of me and immediately slows down.  I have to hit my brakes or go back out into the other lane and pass them.  The next thing I know, they're coming back up behind me, they pass and then settle into the lane ahead of me - AND SLOW DOWN!!!  And, once again, I have to pass them and it starts over again.

OR - I'm in the right hand lane going 72 mph.  A car comes up behind me going faster.  They pull into the left hand lane to pass - and then they just sit there going the same speed as me!  And, invariably, I get behind a semi or a slower car and I have to slow down and wait for the car on my left to get around me.  Just keep going the same frigging speed!   If you're going to be coming up behind me at 77 miles an hour, then pass me at 77 miles an hour. 

And it's nearly ALWAYS a woman, and hardly ever a man, who does this.  Cruise controls are the greatest invention for cars.  Nearly every car that comes out of auto makers these days has cruise control.  I think women should be asked every time they apply for a driver's license if they know how a use a cruise control.